


Let Me Fly

by amazxing



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Comedy, Drama, Drugs, M/M, Multi, Romance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-03-17
Updated: 2016-12-30
Packaged: 2018-05-27 07:25:22
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 19
Words: 41,636
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6275131
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/amazxing/pseuds/amazxing
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In which Yixing works as a dancer and es cort in a male strip club. This is how Sehun meets him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The Unexpected

**Author's Note:**

> Originally posted on Asianfanfics
> 
> Warnings for some chapters:  
> drug use  
> mentions of self harm  
> mentions of rape  
> Alcohol  
> Swearing  
> Sex  
> Smoking  
> \---  
> Main: SeXing  
> Side: XiuHan, KaiSoo, BaekYeol  
> \---  
> Title inspired by the song Sweet Talk by The Killers

The lights flashed brightly behind the closed curtains of the stage, the song playing slowly coming to an end. Yixing stood in his starting position, clad in black leather pants and a thin white long sleeved button up shirt as he waited for his turn. The routine was one he had performed too many times, too many in fact that he could perform it with his eyes closed. That would be beneficial to his part wouldn’t it? Not having to see those hungry eyes from strangers rake over his body.

The song finally comes to an end and Yixing inhales deeply as his song begins and the curtains draw back. He exhales and makes his way to the centre of the stage, he lifts his head and the cheers and whistles become louder but Yixing zones out the people and focuses only on the music as he powerfully moves his body to the beat.

To be honest Yixing hated strip clubs, despised it. These men and women who would come for their pleasure or self pity to watch these performers who really had no satisfaction in pleasing them; Yixing hadn’t met anyone who enjoyed this job, they mostly did it because of their past stories or because they needed money, and Yixing knew... it was upsetting really.

He slowly lowered himself to the floor, whilst he dragged his hand down his torso, making sure to undo the shirts buttons as he did so. He then lifted himself back to height level; moving his hips in a circular movement whilst his hand made his way to the front of his pants, placing it there as to tease the howling crowd. He resisted the urge to roll his eyes at the reactions.

He spun around so his back was facing the audience, once again kneeling on the floor and throwing his head back, making what he knew was his ‘sexy’ face, years of practice, he slid the now unbuttoned shirt down his shoulders, eliciting yells and whistles from the watching men as sweat dripped down his naked chest from the heat of the bright lights.  
So why did Yixing take this job you may ask? Well to put it simply; his parents were shit and that was really the nice way to the put it.

Ever since he remembered he had always wanted to grow up like the idols he saw on television, performing in front of screaming crowds, doing the thing he loved to do, dancing. But of course his parents didn’t want that, what kind of man dances? Are you stupid? Where would you get in life with that sort of career? Do you want to be known as gay? They would say things like that, over and over, but it never stopped him. This is what he wanted, to do what he enjoyed, for people to enjoy his performances... and no he never wanted it to be as a strip club performer but things happen.

One day, his parents had drove him to the city to see a film that he had begged to see with the promise of them picking him up after it had finished, but they had never came back. While he waited he had found a note in his backpack that read; “Yixing, many years have passed and we are glad to inform you now that you are old enough to take care of yourself. We do wish you the best,” and to finish it off was a smiley face. He was fifteen at the time, only a boy; a boy who thought his parents had wrote this letter as some kind of sick joke.

He had tried calling his parents but to no use; there had been no way to get back to home as it was far from the city and he had nothing to pay for transport. It had been two days later when a man who seemed to be in his late thirties had found him lying on the footpath with his backpack over himself as a use of trying to keep warm. During this time Yixing was exhausted, confused and tired and this man offered him a roof above his head. He wasn’t stupid to know not to go with strangers but what other choice did he have.  
He thought he was lucky; the man, who he learnt the name to be Woojin, turned out to be kind, he offered him hospitality and made him a bed in the spare room, informing the young boy that he would need to repay him someday. At that time Yixing didn’t mind what it was, he was just grateful to this stranger who had helped him. But when Yixing turned seventeen Woojin spoke of his repayment.

So this is how Yixing, or by his stage name Lay, ended up working in this hell. Woojin owned the strip club and in order for Yixing to leave this man he would have to pay him back of all the money and time he had spent looking after him and if he didn’t; in Woojin’s exact words “you will be sorry.” So in conclusion Yixing had been saved by a disgusting selfless man who only wanted to use him for his advantage. Now Yixing was twenty two and unfortunately he still wasn’t able to leave.

Yixing furrowed his eyebrows as the memories of his past came flooding back to his head but otherwise glad they chose to come as the song came to an end. He quickly walked backstage as the lights went out, grabbing a towel to dry his sweat off of his face.  
“Good job Lay, you were almost better than me,” Yixing forced a laugh in reply as the other prepared for his turn to go on stage.  
This was another performer, his name Minseok and his stage name Xiumin. He was one year older than Yixing and very popular within the club; the boy was known for his ‘killer abs’ and ‘cute but sexy look’ that left everyone swooning. They had grown quite close over the last three years, Yixing had learnt that Xiumin had became a stripper because he needed money to pay for his mother’s sickness and at the time other workplaces wouldn’t accept his resume but he was desperate.  
When Minseok was out of sight Yixing dropped his forced smile and went to the dressing rooms, just wanting to get out of his make-up and sweat soaked clothes and have a shower. But just as he was about to sit one of Woojin’s workers voice rings loudly from the other room, informing Yixing that there is a client wanting him. Ah yes, those strangers who watched him perform also had the choice of paying to sleep with him, oh how he loved this job.  
Yixing groaned but otherwise complied as he knows he would get into trouble if he didn't do his job. Besides, the more money he gets, the quicker he gets out of this job.

\--

Yixing waited in the small darkly lit room for the person while he tried to control his breathing.

You should be used to this

No, he doesn’t think he could ever get used to this; it was insane to even think he could.

Just breath, He inhales and exhales deeply until the door opens. He doesn’t look at the man, as always, he doesn’t want to remember the faces of the men who have done this to him.

Yixing closes his eyes; ready for his new client behind him to have his way with his already weakened body but to his surprise the man introduces himself, "I'm Sehun and you are?"

His tone wasn’t one of demanding, it actually sounded like he was trying to be friendly. “W-what?”

“Your name?”

Yixing couldn’t help himself but to look over at this person, only to be surprised once again by how young this Sehun guy looked, “How old are you?”

“How old are you?”

Yixing was taken aback, his mouth forming a small ‘o’. “Why–“

“Why not?”

“Twenty two...”

The other made a tssk noise, “You’re young, I am nineteen”

Yixing raised his eyebrows, “You’re young”

“But old enough, so what is your name?”

Why was this boy asking questions, the men usually just got straight to the reason they came. “Uh... Lay. It’s Lay.”

The younger shook his head, “No no, I meant your real name,”

“Just call me Lay,”

The boy frowned but hummed, “Okay... Lay, can I take you out for a drink or something?”

Okay well now Yixing was really confused, “Huh?”

Sehun smirked, “You heard me.”

“I don’t go out with my viewers”

“Well I technically wasn't... watching,” the boy waved his hand around in front of himself, “I was with friends.”

Yixing sighed, even if this guy sounded nice he didn’t feel like going out for drinks. He just wanted to shower and get ready for what probably was another sleepless night full of nightmares. Yeah and that sounded good. “I-I’m sorry but I am still working,”

Sehun frowned deeper this time, the expression actually making Yixing think it looked adorable on him.

“When do you finish?”

“Never really,” he looked to his phone with disgust in his eyes, “if that calls then I have to get back to work.”

“Just... don’t”

“I wish,” his reply was almost a whisper, the younger only just making it out.  
As Yixing was about to go into deep thought of his pathetic life the boy suddenly grabbed his wrist causing him to flinch but the younger mustn’t have noticed as he continued to pull him out of the dim room and into the main parts of the club before through the exit. The outside bouncer eyed Sehun suspiciously as he noticed a trailing Yixing in the boy’s tight hold.

“Is there a problem here?”

The deep voice must have startled Sehun as he froze on the spot and then looked as if he was trying to conduct a reason to be manhandling one of their performers. Yixing surprised himself as he waved off the bouncer, informing him he was fine. The bouncer only looked slightly convinced as he glared after their disappearing figures.  
He didn’t ask where Sehun was taking him, he didn’t care really but he was promised of a good time. Yixing could only scoff in return, good times were not for him.

\--


	2. Hold Me Tight

Yixing ended up being dragged to a nearby car which had four other guys standing around it.

“Sehun-ah where did you go?” The boy who had spoken eyes widened when he noticed the guy behind Sehun, “Whoa, okay I was just joking when I said to take him along with us.”

“But why not?”

“Why?” Another boy laughed, “Because we could get into trouble. Those strip clubs have strict rules.”

The third boys face scrunched up, “I don’t like strip clubs”

The boy who had laughed gave the third boy a smirk, “But you like it when I strip for you”

Yixing watched on in boredom at the now five bickering boys. He really just wanted a shower and to curl up into his bed to wallow in his self-pity. He got jerked out of his thoughts however by Sehun pulling him to the car, “I don’t care. He is coming with us”

The first boy who spoke started jumping up and down on the spot whilst making cooing noises, “please introduce us to your man crush Sehunnie”

Sehun rolled his eyes, “Man crush? Really” then he sighed turning Yixing around to face the boys as he pointed off each one. “This is the always angry one, Kyungsoo.” He received a glare in return to which Sehun exclaimed, “See!”

“And this is the angry ones boyfriend, Jongin” Jongin who was now patting a pouting Kyungsoo’s head smiled brightly at Yixing. “This is the annoying one, Baekhyun.” The annoying one turned out to be the boy who was jumping around like a child before. “And this is Luhan,” The one who hadn’t said anything yet emerged from behind the others and Yixing stared.

“Lu-Ge?”

The doe-eyed boy came forward, his face slowly changing to surprice, “Yixing!?”

Yixing had first encountered Luhan when they were in elementary school, him being nine and Luhan being ten. At the time Yixing was being bullied by higher grade students and the older was the one who had stopped them by informing a teacher. Since then their little interaction grew into a strong friendship.

Luhan took Yixing into a tight hug, the younger feeling tears against his shoulder, “How? Is it really you?”

“Wait, Yixing? The one you speak about”

Luhan nodded to Sehun’s question as he pulled out of their embrace and held Yixing’s face, “Everyone thought you were dead.”

Dead? “What?”

“Your parents... they said you died in a car accident.”

“They– they what?” Yixing couldn’t believe what he was hearing.

The older nodded his head repeatedly as tears fell from his eyes, “I thought you were dead!” He took Yixing in another tight hold hug; the younger patted the boys back reassuringly while he stared at the ground in thought.

Why would his parents say he had died when they knew he hadn’t, did they ever like him... In this moment Yixing knew he was a mistake, he had always had the tiniest bit of hope but now... He wrapped his arms tighter around his best friend who he hadn’t seen since he was fifteen as tears restricted to fall.

“What happened?”

Before he could answer though, Baekhyun spoke up, “This is great that your friend is alive Luhan but could we get inside and then finish this conversation, it is getting cold.”  
Understandable. Luhan broke the hug and motioned for Yixing to get in the car with the others but he earned a shake of the head,

“I shouldn’t, I am technically still on my job,”

Luhan frowned, “Why are you working there?”

Yixing’s eyes swelled up with tears, “It’s not like I want to...”

The older took in Yixing’s appearance, he looked so broken and it hurt him to see that his friend from sixteen wasn’t what he remembered to be; the bright, confident smiling boy.

“It was good of Sehun to get you Xing,”

“Why did he?”

The older took the boys wrist and lead him to the car, Yixing going willingly even though he said he shouldn’t. Before they reached the door Luhan whispered so only Yixing could hear, “Between me and you, let’s just say he has a crush on you.” Luhan’s face expression changed to shock as he ran to the side of the car Sehun was and started to hit his arm, whining, “You can’t have a crush on my best friend!”

“Ahh Luhan hyung!” Sehun turned wide eyes to Yixing, “He is right there! Don’t say SILLY stuff”

The others in the car laughed as Sehun’s cheeks turned a shade of dark pink.

\---

Yixing didn’t ask where they were going but it ended up being a night club much to his distaste. They all jumped out of the car except for Luhan and Yixing, who had stopped him with his hand to his arm.

“We’ll be there in a minute,” The older says to a glancing back Sehun.

Yixing already knew what Luhan wanted to talk about so he started with a shaky breath, “My parents abandoned me Lu-Ge”

“I-I don’t even know why... and now I find out they said I died. Why? Why would they do that? What did I do wrong?”

The smaller boy only looked at him with sorrow, “You did nothing wrong... don’t hate me if I say your parents are jerks.”

The younger laughed sadly, “Say whatever you want.”

There was silence for a while before Luhan talked again, Yixing once again knowing what Luhan was going to say. “How did you... I mean, you work at a strip club,” Yixing hummed. “I’m not judging you of course but why?” Yixing explained why he had to go into that business in one breath as he didn’t like talking about it.

“So... so that’s why,” He realised he was crying when he felt the tears streaming down his face, “I– I can’t leave... I still have to do this f-for another three years or else... I don’t even know but I was warned.” More sobs left Yixing as Luhan tried to take everything in, there were no words to explain how he felt so he hugged his friend, his words shown through affection.

\--

When Yixing insisted he was fine, they later joined the others. Baekhyun was jumping around with a tall boy who Luhan introduced as Chanyeol, while Jongin, Kyungsoo and Sehun sat in a booth away from the dancing craze of the people. Sehun stood when he noticed the two and met them halfway as Luhan then told them he will go get some drinks.  
The younger noticed Yixing’s tear stained face through the flashing lights, “hey, how are you?” Yixing made an ‘ehh’ sound. He frowned; Sehun had only met the boy but for some reason he didn’t like seeing him upset.

“Luhan hyung told lots about you, good stuff,” he smiled, “you seem close, it must be good to see him again right?” Yixing hummed but it was true, he had missed his friend a lot and was happy to see him. Luhan looked well and healthy and through all that was happening that did make him feel a little better.

“He said you are good at dancing, do you like it?”

Yixing nodded. It was the only thing that helped take his mind off of stuff.

Sehun sighed, “I like it too. Jongin and I dance.”

The older nodded again.

“What type of dancing do you do?” Yixing raised his shoulders causing Sehun to mentally kick himself. Why wouldn’t he talk to him? Luhan chose this moment to return with three drinks in his hands, handing one to Sehun and one to a hesitant Yixing who took it and then slowly dragged his feet to the booth where Kyungsoo and Jongin were, the others following.

Yixing ended up having a lot of alcohol as he was now intently staring at his sixth glass as he swirled the substance around. Luhan and Sehun had joined Baekhyun and Chanyeol in the crazy haze of the people while now Jongin and Kyungsoo were practically all over each other in the corner of the booth. He stood with a sigh, suddenly needing to go to the bathroom as the liquor had made its way to his bladder.

The walk there was mostly based on his footing as his head was spinning but he did make it as he now fumbled with the zip on his pants, finally getting it free he released himself. He only hoped he went into the male bathrooms and not accidentally the female bathroom.

He leaned heavily on the bathroom stall as he focused all of his attention on doing up his pants. Stupid tight leather pants. He eventually succeeded and then stumbled over to the sinks to wash his hands just as someone else came into the bathroom.

He paid no attention to the person but it was kind of hard not to when they were suddenly pinning him to the wall, the persons hand grabbing Yixing’s jaw. “I know you,” the person slurred. Well at least now Yixing knew he was in the male’s bathroom. “You’re Lay,” the man snickered as he pushed his hips to meet Yixing’s causing him to be alert of what was happening. “Yeah,” the guy breathed against his mouth, Yixing unable to pull away from the tight hold on his jaw, “I’ve seen you on that stage, the way you move your body... oh the things I’ve been wanting to do to you.”

Yixing tried pushing the man away but it was useless in his drunken state and too late as the others lips pressed firmly against his, his free hand sliding down to grope at Yixing’s front. He tried to scream but it only made access for the man to put his tongue into his mouth so he did the only thing he could think of, he bit down hard on the tongue causing the man to pull back in pain.

Yixing then took this moment to run to the door but failed when he ended up tripping over his own feet. He cursed to himself when he felt the man grab hold of his waist and turn him over so he was now on his back.

“Where do you think you’re going you little shit?” He pinned Yixing’s legs down with his body and trailed his hand underneath his shirt, “Isn’t this what you’re paid for?” The man spat, “Being a whore! So how much do you want then?”

Yixing managed to yell through his panicked breathing, “I don’t want your money!”

The guy only smirked, “So I get you for free? Aren’t I lucky?”

Yixing did scream this time as nothing was holding him back until the guys hand clamped over his mouth, “Be a good boy for me.”

The man once again connected his lips to Yixing’s as he soon after heard the clicking of the guy’s belt being thrown to the floor. Yixing began thrashing his head around and hitting the man’s chest but it was all just a waste of time, his body was too weak to function properly so he just stopped fighting.

This is what you always have to do, why should it be any different. But it was never different; it would always feel like the first time, the fear would never leave.

Yixing closed his eyes tightly as tears slowly slid down his face. He tried to zone out what was happening when there were suddenly yelling and the weight of the man that was on him left. He was then being lifted to his feet and coming face to face with a worried, teary eyed Sehun. He was saying something but Yixing couldn’t make it out properly.

“Yixing?”

He made out Baekhyun and Chanyeol who were pushing a persistent man through the exit of the bathroom,

“Hey! Yixing, look at me!”

Baekhyun quickly glanced back at Yixing with wide eyes before the door shut behind them.

“Yixing!” His hearing slowly came back to him as he now heard Sehun was calling for him. He turned his face back to the younger so fast that it made his head hurt and he stared at him with teary eyes before he began to sob uncontrollably. Sehun pulled the shaking Yixing to his chest, the older immediately wrapping his arms around Sehun’s middle, “He’s gone,” he felt Yixing’s fingers clench the back of his shirt as the boy’s choked cries never stopped. Sehun caressed the back of his hair, doing the best to comfort the older, “You’re safe now.”

\---


	3. Sleepover

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter Warning: Self harm

Yixing sat with his back against the shower wall as the hot water rained over his skin. He had just came back from his fourth customer of the night and it was only 10 pm. He prayed that there weren’t any more as his whole body ached and quivered, the events from earlier still fresh in his mind. Two of his clients had been too rough. Yixing ran his hand over his left wrist that was painfully red; he knew there would be bruises there tomorrow. There were also marks on his hips from where the men had held too hard and scratches on his back.

He felt sick to the stomach; it was always like this but Yixing knew how to direct the painful memories to another source of pain. He traced his index finger along the scars on his thighs; he wasn’t proud of it but it helped, if only for a while. Yixing reached for the scissor blade that he kept by the shower’s door with shaking hands and placed the tip of the blade against his skin. Before he could press down his mobile alerted him of an incoming call which caused Yixing’s breath to hitch.

He threw the blade against the wall and pulled himself off of the ground. Turning off the shower he stepped out, not bothering to wrap a towel around himself he picked up his phone without looking at the caller ID, he whispered a quiet “Please...” before he answered.

“Yixing?”

Relief washed over himself at the sound of Luhan’s voice on the other end of the line. He couldn’t help the contented sigh that left his lips, “Ge.”  
He hadn’t seen the older since the time at the club which was three days ago now. They had exchanged numbers since then and had called each other during their free time to catch up but hadn’t been able to see one another due to Yixing’s suddenly busy working times.

Luhan’s tone changed to concern, “are you okay? You don’t sound good.”

“I’m fine.”

Luhan had been furious once he had found out of what happened in the bathroom at the club. He was constantly asking if the younger was okay. Luhan didn’t know that Yixing’s other line of work involved selling his body to strangers and Yixing hoped to keep it that way; he didn’t like to lie to his friend but he didn’t want to concern him.

“Just a little tired”

“Oh,” Yixing noticed the disappointment in his friends voice, “you should sleep, have you finished for tonight?”

“I think so, what’s up Lu?”

“I was going to ask if you wanted to come over to my apartment! Sehun and Zitao were coming over too,” Luhan spoke quickly, “ah remember Zitao Yixing? Of course you would right! He can’t wait to see you again.”

Yixing slowly smiled, he did remember Zitao. Luhan and he were friends before the older met Yixing but the two also became close friends.

“I remember,” At that moment Yixing also remembered his other old friend, “What about Yifan, are you still friends with him?”

Luhan laughed, “Of course Xing, he also can’t wait to see you again... oh man you should have seen their faces when I told them you weren’t dead.”  
Yixing listened to his friend laugh as he smiled a bit, the word of him being dead still made his heart hurt.

“I can come.”

“Ah but you need sleep, another time–“

“No no,” the younger was quick to interrupt, “It’s okay, I want to be with you guys.” And it will hopefully take my mind off of things.

“Are you sure?”

“Yes,” Yixing now grabbed his towel and wrapped it around his lower half.  
Luhan suddenly squealed, the loudness of it making Yixing jump slightly, “Omg Yixing you can sleep over! Like old times,” he laughed, “I will tell Sehun and Zitao to bring their sleeping stuff too!”

The excitement in his voice amused Yixing, “Ah so a boy’s night?”

Luhan only laughed louder, “Boy’s night in babyyy! We’ll do manly stuff, like um – um OH watch monster trucks and drink strong alcohol!”

Yixing did laugh this time, the action feeling strange as it had been a while since he had last laughed, “Really Luhan Ge?

He knew the older was pouting now, “Yixing! Are you laughing at me? That is what men do.”

Yixing hummed while trying to hold his laughter back, “Oh defiantly,” He lowered his voice next to make it sound deeper, “and we also smash things!”

“Yiixxxinggg you are teasing me,”

“Sorry Luhan,” he laughed, “you are very manly.”

The older hummed in a satisfied agreement, “You got that right! – Do you want me to come get you? I can be there in around thirty minutes.”

Yixing nodded before realising Luhan couldn’t see him, “Yes that will be good.” He gave Luhan his address and then finished their call.  
It took almost all thirty minutes find what to wear as his clothes were thrown everywhere and he usually only wore an oversized big shirt and his underwear to bed but he thought otherwise on that choice as there were others going to be present. He ended up finding his grey sweatpants and an old Jurassic Park pullover he had bought a while ago; satisfied with that option he got dressed and grabbed the remaining things needed before locking his front door and waiting for Luhan.  
\--  
Yixing didn’t have to wait long till Luhan arrived, earning a chuckle from him when he entered the passenger side, “Is that the Jurassic Park pullover you bought when we went to those markets?”

He nodded while twisting the materials fabric through his fingers, “It still fits,”

“That’s because it was huge when you bought it but you insisted – and I quote... ‘But it’s dinosaurs!!’”

Yixing smiled, he was happy that Luhan was bringing good memories back to him.

The drive to Luhan’s apartment was a comfortable silence with the occasional conversation here and there about the times when he, Luhan, Zitao and Yifan were together as four friends. Luhan also mentioned the day they found out he was ‘dead’ and how broken they all were about it.

“It wasn’t the same without our little innocent Yixing,” Luhan ruffled the younger’s hair as he pulled into park and left the driver’s side, Yixing soon following. Innocent, Yixing couldn’t help but laugh sadly at that.

Luhan’s apartment was five stories high in a seven story building and once inside you first walked into a small but spacious living room, with a balcony to the right and a kitchen to the left that also had a little hallway that lead to two bedrooms and one bathroom.

“It’s not much but I like it you know. My own place.”

“I like it,”

Luhan smiled, “I still can’t believe we are all adults now... well except for Sehun,” Luhan scoffed, “That little kid is only nineteen,”

“Yah! Who are you calling little?” Luhan jumped making Yixing giggle behind his hand as Sehun and Zitao arrived.

“Don’t you knock?!”

“Don’t you lock the door?” Sehun pushed the boy playfully which Luhan returned but the two stopped when they noticed the silence from the other two. They turned to see both Zitao and Yixing staring at each other.

“I can’t believe it’s you...” He finally walked up to the still staring boy and poked his cheek and gasped, “It is really Yixing!”

“Luhan!” Tao turned his surprised face to Luhan, “It’s Yixing!”

Luhan rolled his eyes, “Really? I didn’t notice.”

Tao also rolled his eyes but the next second he was grabbing Yixing around the waist as he hugged him, the taller literally lifting Yixing off of the ground. Yixing winced in pain at the tight embrace as the marks on his body were turning into bruises but the others didn’t notice because of the ‘‘manly’ squeal’ (as Luhan commented) that came from Tao.

When he was finally released they began discussing what movie they should watch first but Yixing silently slipped away to the bathroom. He lifted his shirt to inspect the bruises in the mirror and inhaled sharply; they were indeed turning an ugly purple colour. He then turned his back to the mirror and checked his back. The scratches there had stopped bleeding luckily but they still stung. He sighed but startled when the door that he slightly closed began to open. He quickly fixed his shirt before Sehun walked in, the younger not seeing anything but he raised his eyebrows at the startled expression on the older.

“I just wanted to see if everything was okay.”

Yixing nodded quickly, “It is,” there was a short silence, “t-thank you for worrying about me.”

Sehun thought it adorable as when Yixing said this he had his head down with his hands tangled in the front of his pullover and he didn’t miss the blush that rose to the older’s cheeks. He smiled, “Hi,”

Yixing lifted his head slowly with a confused expression, “Hello?”

Sehun chuckled at the cute reaction, “It’s just that we hadn’t really greeted yet.”

“Oh!” Yixing smiled, “Hello Sehun-ah”

A cute dimple accompanied the angelic smile and Sehun thought he could defiantly get used to seeing that so he promised himself silently to always try to make the boy smile. “Hello Yixing hyung,”

For some reason his name coming from the younger sent a warm feeling through Yixing’s body and he only knew his cheeks were turning a darker shade of red and the worst part was he knew Sehun could tell by his smirk. He pressed his hands to his cheeks and started complaining that it was warm in the bathroom as an excuse.

Sehun’s smirk only grew, “Ah really? I find it is quite cool.”

“M-maybe it is my sweatpants... The fabric, it’s thick”

“Maybe you should take them off,” Sehun immediately covered his mouth at what he had just said, “I mean– god not like that,” The younger stuttered for words but to his surprise Yixing began to giggle, the sound music to Sehun’s ears.

“I know what you meant Sehunnie,” the nickname rolled off of his tongue easily, as if he had always been calling him that.

Sehun felt his cheeks heat up, “Good, that’s good, because I don’t want to see that – well I wouldn’t mind, I would be okay if you ever wanted to show...” his words trailed off realising once again that his mouth was speaking for him and not his brain thinking first, “Okay so I’m just going to walk out of here and you pretend I didn’t make a fool of myself.”

Yixing had an amused expression but he nodded none the less as he acted along with the younger, “I can’t even remember what you were talking about.”  
Sehun laughed and quickly thanked the older as he turned to leave.

\---

Yixing re-emerged back into the living room when the boys had finally decided on a movie.

“I chose it, Jurassic Park, hyung now it matches your pullover.” Sehun grinned proudly and Yixing couldn’t help but smile at the triumph in Sehun’s tone.  
They finished watching the first movie and were now halfway through the second. At the end of the first movie Zitao and Sehun had gotten into a food fight with the popcorn which only made Luhan yell at them for the mess they had made – Sehun exclaimed that Luhan was getting too old.

Yixing didn’t speak a single word throughout the films; he was more so fighting to keep his eyes open the whole time but he knew he was going to lose very soon as his eyelids once again shut on their own accord and his head began to droop.

His head landed on Sehun’s shoulder and Yixing began to apologise even though he didn’t make a move to lift his head as sleep was finally winning. Sehun laughed quietly but didn’t push him away, instead he ran his other hand through the boys already dishevelled hair and whispered, “Sleep well Yixing.”

That same warm feeling spread through Yixing’s body at the soft touches and words from Sehun as he finally let himself sleep.

\---

Yixing startled awake with a cold sweat; a nightmare. He tried to control his shaking breathing when there was shifting under him. He shot up from his position alarmed but his forehead ended up coming into contact with something.

A groan.

Yixing reached for his phone and turned on the flashlight, gasping when he noticed it was Sehun’s chin he must have come into contact with as the younger was rubbing said chin and staring tiredly at Yixing.

“I-I’m sorry,” he reached hesitantly for the boys chin but ended on just touching his fingertips to the skin. Yixing glanced around the dark room only slightly making out a sleeping Luhan and Zitao on the couch to the left. He must have ended up falling asleep with his head in the others lap during the night.

“It’s okay,” the boy yawned, “Are you okay? Sehun took hold of Yixing’s hands, “You’re shaking.”

“I’m f-fine.”

He wasn’t fine. His body now ached from yesterday and the nightmare he had still lingered in his head. The nightmares were more like horrible memories of the times with customers but this time the dream was about his parents; he had still been living with them and they actually cared and loved him and Yixing considered this a nightmare because it really hurt.

“Don’t lie hyung.”

He felt hot tears begin to stream down his cheeks, “f-fine, I’m fine.”

The younger tsked and stood, letting go of Yixing’s hands he grabbed a pillow and blanket from the one seated couch and laid them on the floor, “come here.”

The older complied and crawled over to the made up bed on the floor. Sehun motioned for him to lay down as he then did the same behind him. Surprising Yixing the boy gently wrapped his arm around his middle, “Is this okay?”

Yixing shivered as Sehun’s warm breath ghosted the back of his neck. It did feel good, he didn’t know why but he felt somewhat safe in the others embrace and it made him smile a little, “It’s good, thank you Sehun.”

Sehun also smiled as he felt the older relaxing into his touch but frowned when he felt him drifting back to sleep. What Yixing didn’t know was that Sehun had seen the bruises around his wrists when he had been holding his hands.


	4. Bette Than A Plushy

When Sehun woke again the space where Yixing had once been was now empty but his mobile was still beside the pillow. He checked the time; 7:45 am. He glanced around the dimly lit room, the others still asleep but no sign of Yixing. The sudden urge to find the boy took over him so he stood, hand still clasped to the blanket as he wrapped it around his shoulders.

He had checked all of the rooms but Yixing was still nowhere to be seen; panic was about to settle in when he remembered the balcony and to his relief he finds him there sitting on the floor, his back and head resting against the wall. Yixing didn’t look up when Sehun shut the door behind him and sat beside the other.

They sat in silence for a while just staring at the awakening city in front of them until Sehun sensed the olders body shaking so he took the blanket from around his shoulders and replaced it by pulling it over his and Yixing’s laps. That’s when Yixing did turn his attention to Sehun.

“I’m pathetic,”

Sehun was slightly taken aback by the confession, “no you’re not, don’t say that hyung.”

The older only sighed and mumbled, “I wish I didn’t have to.”

Sehun frowned and remembered the bruises he had seen around Yixing’s wrists. He placed his hand on the boys lower arm which caused Yixing to flinch but he ignored that and slowly slid his hand down to the olders wrist, pulling his sleeve up. “Tell me what happened.”

Yixing tried to pull out of the youngers grip but it only made his bruised wrist hurt. “T-tell you about what?”

Sehun ran his thumb gently over the wrist, “You know what.”

“I...” Yixing once again tried to pull away, “Sehun-ah, please I don’t want to talk about i-it.”

“When I came to you that night, at the club, you –“ Sehun furrowed his eyebrows, “what were you expecting from me? You looked surprised when I introduced myself.”

This time Yixing did free his wrist from Sehun’s hand with a scowl, “Because t-that’s where...” the older trailed off and squinted his eyes in thought, “Why did you come if you didn’t w-want to... t-to...”

“To what?”

“T-that room is for the... the c-clients to you know,” Yixing began to make strange gestures with his hands while Sehun just stared in confusion until it hit him.

“No! What –“

“What else did you think that room was?”

“I– I didn’t know! I just asked where I could find you and I got led to that room.”

Yixing laughed sadly, “Yeah...”

“Please tell me you don’t let men do that stuff to you.”

“I-I have no choice.”

Sehun felt anger bubble up inside him at the idea of disgusting men using Yixing as some kind of toy, “So that explains,” Sehun takes Yixing’s wrist in his hand again and the older nods his head quickly and looked to the ground.

“Yixing hyung...”

The younger didn’t get a reply but he heard the other sniffle as he tried to hold back his tears. Sehun felt so much pain now that he knew the reason for the boys bruises and downcast mood and yet he was still able to hide it and live on with his life. Sehun didn’t know why but he had the strong feeling to protect the one beside him, to help him free of that life.

He caressed Yixing’s face with his hand and the older slowly lifted his head, only to then be gently led against Sehun’s shoulder; Yixing immediately burying his face in the youngers neck. He stuttered out a soft thank you while Sehun hummed.

“It will get better hyung.”

\---

Yixing didn’t expect to see Luhan when he arrived at the club a few days later after their sleepover but there he was. “Lu Ge?”

Luhan perked up at the voice, “Yixing! Hey I was on my way home when I thought you may be working.”

“I am now,”

Luhan was suddenly hugging the younger which took Yixing off balance, “How are you Xing?”

“Fine Ge, is everything okay?”

The older broke the hug and smiled warmly at him, “I can’t hug my friend?”

Before Yixing could reply someone was putting an arm around his shoulders.

“What did the boss tell us about getting to close to our clients Lay.”

Yixing scowled and panicked as he mentioned the word clients, only hoping Luhan wouldn’t mention it. “He is my friend,” he pulled out of the boys hold and turned to him, “What do you want Xiumin?”

Xiumin ignored the question and instead glanced towards said friend, “and such a pretty friend you have.” Yixing sighed as Xiumin showed his best smile and bowed to a now blushing Luhan with an outstretched hand, “and you are?”

“L-Luhan.”

Yixing raised his eyebrows. Did he really just stutter right now.

Xiumin chuckled sweetly, “Luhan, such a pleasure. I’m not allowed to reveal my real name but between me and you,” Xiumin leaned in close to the others ear, “my name is Minseok.” He pulled away and winked at a shy Luhan. Yixing was dumbfounded at the scene before him.  
“Well I certainly would like to get to know you more cutie but right now I have business to take care of.” He gave Yixing a nod and went to leave, “don’t be a stranger Luhan.” He winked one more time before he left; Luhan staring after his disappearing figure.

Yixing cleared his throat, “Really?”

“Wahh Xing why have I never noticed him before? He is so so soo...” It was as if stars were shining in the boys doe eyes, “attractive and AND cute... oh my god.”  
Yixing didn’t know if he was glad that his friend didn’t mention Minseok saying clients or that he was stunned with the sudden interest Luhan had with Minseok.

“You know... I wouldn’t mind having my own personal dance from Minseok.” The comment dragged Yixing out of his thoughts, his eyes now wide.

“What? Luhan!”

Luhan only giggled.

\---

Yixing stumbled into his apartment after being finished with his day. Luhan had ended up staying for Minseok’s performance, both of them practically staring at each other the whole time. Yixing shook his head in amusement.

Luckily tonight he hadn’t received any calls yet for clients and he was incredibly grateful for that as he received a text from Sehun asking if he wanted to go to the amusement park with him. He typed a quick reply saying he was interested and where to meet up.

When he did arrive at the amusement park the first thing Yixing was dragged to was the roller coaster, “hyung you have to ride with me, I have always been afraid.” Sehun laughed at his own words as Yixing swallowed.

“I think I am afraid too.”

Sehun laughed more, “Then let’s be afraid together.”

The ride resulted in both of them screaming and Sehun gripping the others sleeve even when the ride had ended, “Whoa.”

“Yes, whoa.” Yixing couldn’t help but laugh at the windswept hair and the astonished look on the youngers face. Sehun pouted when he pointed out his messy hair and fixed it by running his hand through it, also doing the same to a blushing Yixing. He didn’t know why he was blushing.

They later enjoyed many rides together which involved more screaming and cries of fear if you include the one haunted house ride. Yixing could swear his mouth was sore from smiling too much; it was a good feeling he decided.

They were now at a plush toy vending machine, both sipping from their ‘shared’ bubble tea (much to Sehun’s disappointment but also satisfaction). “I told you it is good! But now why do you have to drink mine?”

Yixing smiled around the straw, “Because you’re generous.” Sehun pouted but then focused back on the machine.

“Arrgh, why do they make these things so hard?”

Yixing giggled, “Don’t blame the machine Sehunnie.”

“I will blame the machi – ahh huh!” The younger started jumping on the spot as he finally must have got something. “No peeking!” Sehun had made it clear that Yixing was not allowed to watch what the boy was going to win because it was a surprise. “Okay okay, keep your eyes closed,” he felt the younger approach him, “and hold out your hands.” Yixing did just that and felt something soft come into contact with his waiting hands. “It’s for you.” He opened his eyes to see a big light brown fluffy plush toy bunny staring back at him and he smiled. Sehun beamed at the reaction but then looked the ground in embarrassment, “Luhan hyung told me you loved bunnies when you were younger, I hope you still like them.”

“I do,” his smile grew as he unconscionably threw one arm around the youngers waist, the other still clasped to the bunny, “Thank you Sehun.”

Sehun’s face turned a shade of pink as he returned the embrace by wrapping his arms around Yixing’s waist and whispered, “Anything for you.”

They broke the hug at the same time which ended up both of them staring at each other. They stared for a while and Yixing surprised himself when his eyes moved on their own accord to the youngers lips and he could have sworn he saw Sehun do the same.

“Y-Yixing.”

“Yes?”

“The... the Ferris wheel now r-remember.”

“Oh– oh yes, that.” Yixing quickly pulled away and distanced himself a bit. He didn’t realise he had been holding his breath until now, “Let’s go!”

They were lucky enough to catch the last turn of the Ferris wheel and to have their own carriage. Being night, the air was very cold so Yixing huddled closer to Sehun and held the bunny close to his chest and nuzzled his head against it. Sehun smiled at the cuteness that was just naturally Yixing.

“If I had to choose who was cuter – you or the bunny, I would choose you.” Sehun mentally slapped himself for his mind speaking his words but Yixing tiredly smiled and released a giggle.

“I think the bunny is cuter than me,” he waved the bunny in front of Sehun’s face who laughed and took it from him, “but thank you Sehunnie.”  
They then sat in a comfortable silence for a while, appreciating the view as the ride rotated them slowly around in circles before Yixing noticed the cold and an idea came to his head.  
“Ehh Sehun-ah you stole my bunny, it was keeping me warm,” the older pouted and puffed out his cheeks, “I guess you will just have to keep me warm.” He wrapped his arms around Sehun’s middle and laid his head on the bunny’s soft head that Sehun was holding and against the youngers chest.

Sehun looked down at the black mess of hair that belonged to Yixing and smiled, “Better?”

“Better,” Sehun laughed as he too felt the warmness radiating from Yixing’s body and he must admit Yixing’s warmth was much better than the plush bunny.


	5. Your Company

“You’re so heavy”, Yixing mumbled to himself as he shifted a fast asleep Sehun that insisted on getting a piggyback whilst accompanying Yixing on walking to the olders apartment after the amusement park but ended up falling asleep. Yixing didn’t mind but he was quite tired himself.

He shifted the younger once again so he could unlock his door, once open he slowly walked through the darkened apartment until he got to his bedroom. Not wanting to wake the boy he silently decided he would just let him stay over as he lowered Sehun onto his bed; he could sleep on the couch. He began to pull the boys arms from around his neck but Sehun only groaned and clasped his hands tighter.

“Sehun”,

There was another groan from the other, before he whispered a barely audible, “Stay.” Yixing didn’t refuse as he let his tired body fall to the space beside the younger, Sehun immediately making himself comfortable by wrapping his arms around Yixing’s middle and burying his head in his neck. Yixing flinched as Sehun’s breath touched the sensitive part of his neck. This must have alarmed the younger as he pulled back, “Are you okay, did I do something?” Yixing almost felt his eyes tear up at the caring tone.

“No no, I- I am just s-sensitive there.”

“Oh,” Well that was a different tone, and Yixing knew it sounded like trouble, “Here?” Before He had the chance to scramble away Sehun was on top of him and blowing on his neck.

“Noooo”, now Yixing was wide awake, S-Sehuuun.” He tried to hide his neck with his head but the younger only pushed closer to his neck to the point where his lips were now touching his skin. The older froze and he wasn’t sure but he thinks Sehun also froze. “Sehun...”

“Mmm?” The youngers humming sent vibrations against his neck and Yixing swallowed as Sehun pulled away and rested his forehead against his. The boy suddenly let out a breathy laugh that tickled Yixing’s lips. They were so close.

“I’ve been wanting to do something for a while now,” For some reason Yixing thinks he knows what he is talking about, “But I- I’m bad at this stuff and what if you don’t want and–“

“Sehun.”

He welcomed the interruption, “Yes?”

“I want it too.”

Sehun breathed in sharply, “Do you even know what I’m talking about?”

The older slowly nodded and moved his eyes to Sehun’s lips but he suddenly felt resistance and quickly added, “Well I hope I do.”

The youngers eyes widened, “Well I also hope so b-because... because – ahh fuck it.” Sehuns lips were now against the olders and it was like something exploded inside of Yixing; his heart was beating too fast and his head was repeating the same words, Sehun is kissing you, Sehun is kissing you, Sehun is kissing you. Yixing swallowed again, shit, Sehun is kissing you.

He was able to (somewhat) retain his heart beat as he finally – as it felt like ages – moved his lips against Sehun’s and it felt amazing, his lips were soft and it was as if they moulded perfectly against his. That was cheesy he thought. But his thoughts were cut off when he felt Sehun nibble at his bottom lip asking for permission and the older complied, parting his lips as their tongues met halfway and for a while that is what happened; Sehun on top of Yixing, their tongues exploring each other’s mouths.

Yixing couldn’t help the moan that escaped between his lips. He never knew a kiss could cause so much pleasure, the only kisses he has ever had were from – He felt Sehun’s hand trailing down his stomach to his crotch and Yixing’s eyes flew open.

The younger began to rub his hand over Yixing’s clothed dick and that’s all it took for Yixing to break the kiss with a gasp, “S-Sehun I–“

“It’s good right?”

He didn’t know, “Sehun–“ His voice broke off again when the younger did the same thing. Yixing shut his eyes tightly, it felt good but at the same time it didn’t. All he could picture were those men and now his heart wasn’t beating fast from the pleasure and the excitement but otherwise it was beating in fear. “N-No Sehun – wait, st-stop.”

“Oh... Oh!” Sehun quickly retreated his hand, “oh my god, Yixing” He got off of the older and lay beside him, “I didn’t even think–“

“Sorry.”

“–Wh-what?” Sehun took the olders face into his hands and used his thumbs to wipe the tears that Yixing didn’t even know were falling, “Yixing, you don’t need to be sorry. I am sorry... I was just thinking how happy I was that you wanted the same.. and I didn’t even think about..” he trailed off, both of them knowing what he meant. Yixing exhaled a shaky breath.

“I-It was nice, please d-don’t think I didn’t want it because I d-do,” Yixing closed his eyes, “I j-just couldn’t h-help it, th-they came to my mind.”

Sehun ended up comforting a shaking Yixing in his arms until the boy drifted to sleep. The younger watched the older’s face whilst he slept; a few times his eyebrows would knit together, he would frown and he would let out soft groans. And Sehun only wished that he could stop the images that would run through Yixing’s mind, those nightmares.

\---

“Your stripper is here.”

“Hey!” Luhan hit the back of Jongin’s head with a nearby baguette and tsked, “Your boy toy Kyungsoo is over there.”

Jongin huffed as he rubbed the back of his head, snatching the baguette from the older’s hand, “This is to be served not for hitting people and he is not my boy toy,” disregarding his comment, Jongin began hitting Luhan’s side with the now ruined baguette, “he is my squishy and I am his lovely boyfriend.”

The older glared, “Look who’s talking,” he took off his cooking gloves and ran up to the counter not before turning back around to Jongin who was staring at the broken bread in his hands, “by the way, you’re paying for that.” He smirked as the younger began arguing that it was he who started it.

Luhan ignored him as he greeted his now regular customer with a smile, “Minseok”

The other returned the gesture with that crooked smile that Luhan fell in love with since the first time seeing it, “Luhan.”

“The regular?”

When Luhan was able to see Minseok again, he had showed him where he worked; the bakery. Since then Minseok had become a regular customer, always ordering the same thing; a large cappuccino and two macaron’s.

Minseok gave a nod, “Ah, you know me to well LuLu.”

The younger chuckled, “Only because you always order it.”

“Yes,” Minseok leaned his elbows on the counter and looked up at the slightly red cheeked Luhan, “and when can I order you for a nibble?” He wiggled his eyebrows and smirked as the boys face grew redder and left a shocked expression.

“I don’t know what you mean,” The younger left the serving counter to go make Minseok’s cappuccino, also as an excuse to hide his face but Minseok only followed to the other counter

“You know what I mean.”

“You want to nibble me?”

He received an agreeing hum, “I’d like to nibble those pretty little lips.”

Luhan nearly dropped the milk he was frothing, “Well I can’t turn down that offer but... but they aren’t pretty, they’re manly!”

Minseok raised an eyebrow, “Your lips are manly?”

The younger paused for a moment as he went over the words just spoken oh, “Oh um... yes!” he returned to the cappuccino, “don’t laugh.”

Just then a laughing Jongin re-emerged from the back of the bakery with a fresh baguette in his hands, “I so want to just hit you with this for being so silly but that would mean having to pay for another one,” he glared at Luhan, “just take his weird nibble offer and go out with him already.”

Luhan returned the glare, “Maybe I was just going to.”

Jongin raised his arms in fake surrender and turned away yelling, “Sure hyung.”

The boy groaned but was interrupted when Minseok cleared his throat.

“So is that true? You will go out with me?”

If possible Luhan’s cheeks turned even darker, “Y-Yes.”

\---

When Sehun woke he was greeted with Yixing’s sleeping face and the boy practically having all his limbs wrapped around the youngers body. He smiled, the olders face looked peaceful now and it was much better than seeing the pained expressions, of cause. It must be early in the morning as Sehun could see the skies colour though the blowing curtains, the air was cold but Yixing’s body was warm and he smelled nice; and it wasn’t from a body spray, it was just Yixing and gosh Sehun could get used to this.

Minutes went by as his smile grew while watching the sleeping boy and soon he couldn’t help but kiss Yixing’s nose. Yixing stirred and slowly opened his eyes, “Sehun,” a yawn broke through the word and Sehun laughed.

“You’re so cute.”

Yixing began disagreeing and stroked tiredly at Sehun’s face in an attempt to push him away which only made Sehun laugh more.

They lay in bed for what seemed like hours, cuddling unconsciously and just talking about random things ranging from different foods they have had, the stupid things they did during school and their friends until Yixing’s phone interrupted their conversation.

Yixing frowned when his bosses name showed as the screen caller, why would he be calling at such an early hour.

“Who is it?”

“J-just give me a second,” Yixing untangled himself from Sehun and quickly walked to his bathroom, closing and locking the door behind him he answered.

“Yes?”

“Client for you”

Yixing’s breath hitched, “What?”

“Client”

“N-No, I only do night.”

“Okay and are you the boss of yourself?”

He swallowed, “No”

“Exactly, now get yourself over here.”

The line went dead.

Yixing threw his phone to the floor and leaned over the sinks basin, he tried to calm his breathing. Why why why

There was a knock at the door and Sehun’s voice followed, “Yixing?”

He took one last deep breath and exhaled, he grabbed the nearest pills he had and stuffed them in his jeans pockets before opening the door, “I’m f-fine, but I have to go out for a bit,” he took his coat and headed for the door, “you can stay or– or let yourself out...” Before opening the door he gave Sehun a tight hug, “I’m sorry,” and left.

He knew Sehun was watching him leave so he waited till he knew he was out of sight before taking out the pills and swallowing them dry. He didn’t care what they were; he only hoped they would help him not feel anything. Oh how quickly a nice morning can change to a bad one.


	6. Stay With Me

Yixing stopped abruptly when he felt a sudden dizziness come to his head, he quickly wondered what pills he had scattered on his bathroom counter, which ones he would have just shoved down his throat. He was careless when it came to pills, never worrying about which ones he took, never worrying about the consequences because to put it simple he didn’t care. But if it ever resulted in having them before going out of his apartment he would be vary of what he was doing. The thought of maybe overdosing in public worried him; number one reason why, people would see. And right now he was worried.

Yixing was only two blocks away from the club when a hand on his shoulder made him turn around, and to his surprise, “Sehun?” He looked around their surroundings, “How did you –“

“I drove,” Sehun gripped the olders shoulder tighter, “I know where you’re going and I’m not going to let you.”

“S-Sehun...”

“No, Yixing,” The boy sighed, “I want to help and the first step is no more of this.”

Yixing suddenly felt very out of breath, “Y-you don’t understand I... I have to.”

The younger shook his head, “I don’t care what this dick boss guy says. You are hurting, I can tell and it,” he ran a hand frustratingly through his hair, “Yixing hyung... it hurts me to see you like this.”

The dizziness was back but this time a pang also went through his heart and the pain made him lean into Sehun’s chest unconsciously with a groan.

Sehun caught the older, “Yixing?” He pulled him back by the shoulders and examined the boy, “What did you do!?”

Yixing closed his eyes as the world around him looked to be spinning and he took a few heavy breaths, “I may have,” He took in another shaky breath, “I may have – oh my god – I think I overdosed on p-pills.”

“What!?” He wrapped his arm around the wavering boy and began leading him to his car. “Fuck – why would you... Yixing, you’re shaking really bad.” The older could only muster a groan in reply.

Sehun began to really panic now, he worried he wouldn’t be able to drive Yixing to the hospital without crashing as his hands were shaking in worry. “Shit...” He pulled his phone out of his back pocket with his free hand and dialled the emergency number. He shakily explained the situation and where they were before the line went dead with the promise of emergency assistance in no time. “Okay, okay hyung, an ambulance is coming. So you have to –“ He was cut off when the older pulled out of his arms and doubled over as he began to throw up, “Dammit,” he rushed over to Yixing’s side and kneeled beside him, pushing the damp hair back from his forehead, “You have to stay with me.”

Sehun knew people had begun to surround them but he ignored their present and their comments, focusing only on the boy beside him, “Try- try to breathe, please...” Luckily the sound of sirens became audible as the crowd around them all turned towards the arriving vehicle, “Yixing, they’re here! B-be strong.” The paramedics took Yixing from his side; they began shouting stuff that Sehun couldn’t take in as he watched them place the older on a stretcher and rushing him into the back of the ambulance. He was only brought back to the present when they asked if he was with the boy. He let out a weak, “Friend,” before he himself was also ushered into the ambulance. He wasn’t sure if it was lucky or not to be able to get a drive to the hospital when he had to uselessly sit there and watch Yixing suffer.

\---

When arrived at the hospital Sehun was separated from Yixing as they took him to an emergency room. So Sehun sat, impatiently shaking his leg as all the worse outcomes ran through his head. The wait felt like a long time and it didn’t come to his mind to call his friends until now. The first person he called was Luhan.

There were only two rings before the other picked up.

“Hello –“

“Luhan hyung! It’s – Yixing hyung, he overdosed on pills –“

“Huh!? Where are you?”

Sehun could barely hear Luhan over the sudden choked sobs that left his body, “At the, at the hospital.”

“I’m on my way!” The line beeped, signalling its end.

By the time Luhan arrived (with a worried Zitao, Yifan and Minseok by his side) Sehun was pacing back and forwards.

There were tears streaming down Luhan’s cheeks, “Is he okay!?”

Sehun threw his arms in the air, “I don’t know.”

“Why did he do this... was it an accident?”

“I don’t know hyung... this fucking job!” His outburst attracted the people around him to glare at his chosen words. Sehun mumbled a quick sorry before returning back to his point, “You guys have to help me get him out of this.”

Luhan was the first to speak, “The strip club? Is this what it is about?”

There was a sad sigh from Minseok, “It would have to be... I wouldn’t know how I would be able to deal with what he does.”

“But you do what he does?”

“Yeah but not the escorting...”

“Escorting!?” Luhan, Zitao and Yifan both exclaimed at the same time.

“You didn’t know?”

Again the three boys said simultaneously, “No!”

“You knew?” This was directed at Sehun as all eyes were now turned to him.

“I um... kind of figured it out and he confirmed it,” the boys began to glare, “hey! I didn’t know if you guys knew or not.”

“I haven’t seen my friend for over six years, thinking he was dead and now I find out he is alive and for what, he is selling his body?”

“Yifan!”

“There must be a reason”

“Do you think of him to be that low or something!?”

Minseok broke the little argument before it escalated, “He owes the boss... he took Yixing in when he was abandoned and well now he owes him for the care he gave.”

“Are you serious?”

“That sick bastard”

Minseok’s brows furrowed, as he remembered the many times he had walked in on Yixing either cutting his skin or popping pills or the times he would curl up in bed, the never ending tears shaking his body. “It is sick... Yixing-ah doesn’t deserve it, at all.”

There was a sound of someone clearing their voice, catching the attention of all the boys, “Mr. Zhang?” Sehun’s breathing became uneven again at the sight of the doctor.

“Yes,” the doctor glanced around at the five boys who all responded.

“Are you all family?”

“We’re friends but –“

The doctor began to nod, “I’m sorry but only immediate family may see him during this time.”

Sehun rolled his eyes and angrily sat down, he felt himself wanting to punch something, he knew it wasn’t the doctor’s fault but he just wanted to know if Yixing was okay, if he was alive. The doctor nodded once more before he turned to leave, not before Luhan spoke up, “Can’t you tell us if he is alright?”

The doctor once again glanced at the boys and it pissed Sehun off more, this guy must have dealt with lots of patients, he probably didn’t even care. “We’re not certain on what drugs were consumed but we are in the process of running tests. He is unconscious for the time being but we have him under a ventilator and we are monitoring his blood pressure, heart rate and pulse. For now we can only wait for the test results.”

There were a few nods and Zitao mumbled, “Thank you.”

\---

No one spoke as they waited for more updates; Jongin later came to the hospital and sat beside Sehun who offered his comfort throughout the wait which felt like hours. It probably was. During the time, Minseok was also comforting a teary Luhan. Sehun didn’t understand when his friend became so close with this Minseok guy, wasn’t he one of the dancers at the club too. To prove his point Sehun nudged Jongin who had been drifting in and out of sleep. The boy sleepily responded with a hum.

“The Minseok guy, wasn’t he the one at the club?”

Jongin nodded, “Xiumin, yeah the dancer.” He smiled as he looked over to the two, “They’re cute, and it looks like Minseok hyung really cares about Luhan hyung.”

“Yeah...”

“What about you and Yixing hyung?”

Sehun closed his eyes at the name, “What about us?”

“Your relationship,” Jongin chuckled lightly when he saw Sehun’s cheeks turn a shade of pink, “what happened?”

The younger swallowed, the events of the night before coming back to him, “We uh... kissed,” Jongin made an ‘ahh’ noise which made Sehun’s cheeks turn darker and he shook his head, “I was going too fast with him, at the moment I was so hyped on the fact that Yixing also wanted this that I forgot how it would make him feel... you know, what with what those disgusting men did to him.”

Jongin frowned, “It really is horrible but Sehun, I believe you can save him”

The younger sighed, “I may not be able to save him – I mean it’s unfortunate but how could he forget that stuff he has gone through – I only can be there for him and I will be, I want to be.”

“He may not forget but you will help a lot, I can promise you that.”

Sehun gave his friend a small smile, “Thanks.”

\---

They didn’t know how long they had waited but the doctor finally emerged from behind the doors, a small smile on his face as he approached them. “Good news, we were able to flush at the drugs by doing the activated charcoal procedures. This will reduce the amount absorbed into his blood. For now, he is stable but resting,” The doctor looked at the paper in his hand, “and his test results will likely be ready in the coming morning.”

They all let out relieved smiles. Sehun felt like he wanted to just fall to the ground and thank the high heavens, or give all people responsible for saving Yixing a big hug, “Thank you Doctor, could we see him?”

“I will allow it but I want him to stay rested, it is unlikely in his state that he will wake not for a few more hours”

They nodded in understanding and followed the doctor to where Yixing was rested. Although Yixing was getting better the sight of him still made Sehun want to burst into tears. He was very pale and hooked up to various machines; his chest slowly rising and falling with each breath.

Luhan was first to approach him, running a hand gently through his hair while Sehun on the other side took Yixings hand into his and squeezed it lightly. As it was Yifan’s first time seeing his friend in so long he did break into tears, Zitao immediately going to his side. “I’m sorry... I didn’t realise how much I missed him until now.”

\---

As told Yixing didn’t wake until a few minutes after four hours, Sehun only noticing when his hand was lightly squeezed causing him to jump up, “Yixing?” The others in the room – some who had been drifting to sleep – stood and surrounded the bed as they watched the boys eyes slowly blink open.

Yixing groaned as he finally attempted to open his eyes but shut them again as his head was pounding, “I will get the doctor!”

It didn’t take long for Luhan to return with the usual doctor by his side, “He woke?”

“Briefly, I think he has fallen back asleep.”

The doctor checked the readings on the machine, “That’s common; he will feel like this for a few days. The high will last for a while, as will the drowsiness and headaches.” He then preceded pressing buttons on the monitors, “He will need his rest but I am certain he will be fine now. You guys should also rest and eat.”

“I might... stay just for a little longer,”

“You need some sleep Sehun-ah. We all do, and we will all come back after a little while.” Jongin patted Sehun’s shoulder, “Let’s let him rest.”

Sehun sighed but stood as the others began to leave. He leaned in and kissed Yixing’s forehead, “We will be back soon.” And he followed the others out.


	7. Expected

“You had overdosed on Zolpidem and morphine,”

The doctor, who Yixing knew now as Doctor Seo-jun, had been here for almost forty minutes now, along with a psychiatrist. The doctor claiming they were there ‘in case of’. In case of what? In case he was suicidal, depressed, mental? Yixing mused, it wouldn’t be wrong.

“You are very lucky to be alive from such an overdose. Since you have woken you may be aware of your consent drowsiness and headaches. But not to worry, this is common in drug overdoses and this will soon fade over the coming days – Now we were able to contact your parents – “

“M-my parents?” Yixing’s heart sped up at the word and as if on cue none other than his parents came through the door with huge smiles planted on their faces.

“Darling!” His mother placed a kiss to his head, “We are so glad you are alright, oh we were so worried!” What, Yixing watched with wide eyes as the faces he hadn’t seen in so long bombarded him with praises. “You gave us a scare, son.”

Doctor Seo-jun gave a chuckle, and motioned towards the psychiatrist, “We will leave you to your privacy for now but will be back soon, Yixing.” The man and woman nodded in their departure.

“Oh thank god,” his parents smiles dropped and his mother released her once affectionate hold to Yixing’s shoulder, “Well that could have gone worse,”

His father laughed, “I think it went quite well, shall we?” The man gestured to the exit but soon stopped, “Ah no, it would be suspicious if we left so soon.” He looked to his mother who rolled her eyes and Yixing didn’t know if he should be surprised or not, or really, disgusted. Their act was all a fake, but was he hoping for something else.

“You mean we have to stay here with him?” The woman threw a pathetic wave to her son and Yixing couldn’t take it anymore, he laughed. The sound caused them to jump as if they didn’t know he was actually there until now.

“Wow,” He began to clap, producing a sarcastic smile, hoping it would facade because really he was dying in the inside, “It can’t be, is it really? – Whoa –“ Yixing gasped, making sure it was exaggerated, “My parents? Wait... my parents, the ones who left me? The ones who then claimed I was dead? Ah yes, my parents.”

His parents stared, “We don’t like this anymore then you do.”

Yixing had to bite his lip from exploding, “If you had died maybe it would have been easier for us,” his father began, “Oh all the comments we still receive, ‘Maybe your son is still alive?’ ‘There is a Zhang Yixing still in Korea’ ‘It is rare for such a name here’. If you could just disappear you would had made this so much easier.” He bit his lip harder as he tried to hold back his tears.

“H-how can you... what d-did I ever do to you?”

“Oh please, you were and always will be a mistake.”

Yixing could now taste the blood from biting his lip and this time he couldn’t hold back the choked sob that left his throat. He ran his hand over his face, trying to wipe the continuous flowing tears.

“Can we leave?” The man hummed and without any goodbye and as quickly as they had come, they were gone.

Yixing shakily picked up the nearby tissue box and angrily threw it at the closed door, the action causing the tubes connected to the machines to fall over with a crash, nurses soon rushing in. Yixing didn’t listen to their questions or more like he couldn’t hear them through his increasing heart beat and his sobs that failed to decrease.

\---

Yixing’s plan of avoiding the psychiatrist came to fail. When he was able to calm down as much as possible the questions started and all he wanted to do was just take the blanket and wrap it around his neck. The psychiatrist would love to hear that.

“I sensed your tension when your parents arrived, is there any meaning behind that?”

Yixing could feel new tears begin to form, “I-It’s complicated”

“And that’s why I’m here sweetie.”

He sighed, Yixing had had professional help before and he has come to the conclusion that they were no help to him. They listened, they comforted you, they gave positive feedback and he was grateful for that but it could never erase these problems. But he also knew he would have to explain someday so he told everything relating to his parents. Deciding to leave out the club dancing and escorting.

“S-so this is the- the first time I’ve seen t-them since I was fifteen,” By the end, it was impossible to not let the cries take over his shaking body.

He looked to the lady who had been taking notes throughout his little speech, “And how do you feel about this?”

“How do I...” Yixing threw his head back, new tears threatening to fall, “confused, betrayed, upset... angry.”

“And so you should, you have no reason not to be. You have been through a lot Yixing and you really should be proud of yourself. You have survived through it and I believe you can keep on surviving.” Yixing hummed, these were the encouraging comments that were expectant and meant to help but in reality were useless to him.

“Now one more question, was your overdose accidental or intentional?

Now Yixing had already asked himself this, yes, generally he would just swallow down any pill available in his home but it was also never intended to be an overdose. He wouldn’t care if he did overdose or not but it was never to be initiated. Also he wasn’t stupid, if he said it was on purpose then that would mean counselling, more sessions like these and worse, it may even lead to mental hospitals. “It was an accident.”

It was as if the psychiatrist was considering his answer by studying Yixing’s facial expressions but before she could say anymore there was a knock at the door and a person he didn’t realise he missed so much walked in, Sehun.

“Ah, hello,” said boy bowed to the women, “Sorry, I can come back later –“

The lady stood, “No need, we were just finishing,” she smiled towards Sehun before leaving, “Stay strong Yixing.” The oldest boy produced a kind smile back as she left.

“Sehun-ah!” Yixing stretched out his arms, making grabby motions with his fingers before he pouted, “Can you hug me?”

Sehun didn’t hesitate and besides the boys actions were too cute to handle. He awkwardly wrapped his arms around Yixing, what with their sitting positions, “I was so scared hyung, don’t do that okay!?”

Yixing cursed his eyes for tearing up for the millionth time, “S-sorry...”

The younger pulled back and caressed the boys face, “How do you feel now?”

Yixing felt Sehun’s breath ghost over his lips and all he wanted to do was just lean into his touch, let his thoughts get lost through Sehun’s warm kisses. “I-I’m okay but not really?”

Sehun pulled back further to question him but the older pulled him back with a hand to his shirt, “Yixing...”

“Sehun, I will tell you later, I promise but I... just need you.” Yixing leaned closer to the younger, their lips only inches apart but the younger pulled back, a worried expression on his face, “L-last time, I’m sorry. Maybe we should go slow... I don’t want to h-hurt you.”

Yixing smiled softly, “You never hurt me, it wasn’t you. And...” he rubbed the back of his neck, “I am okay with kissing,”

And that was all it took for Sehun to feel reassured as he connected their lips and that same feeling of butterflies caused through Yixing’s stomach and he smiled between their kiss, mumbling, “Defiantly okay.” He felt Sehun’s lips smile against his.

\---

Yixing was released from the hospital the next day with the promise of resting and drinking lots of water. When Sehun drove Yixing home, the older told him about his little encounter with his parents and now as they arrived at his apartment Sehun wouldn’t stop asking if he was okay. It was cute really but he also didn’t want to break down in front of Sehun again.

“I’m just saying if I ever meet your parents I will have the strongest urge to punch them, and don’t try and stop me...” Sehun trailed off, realising Yixing wasn’t behind him, turning around to see said boy with his arms hugging a taller boy who he knew was Yifan. He smiled lightly at the scene as he walked towards them, now noticing his other friend Junmyeon standing behind the two hugging boys, he acknowledged him with a nod.

“Hey, so this is the Zhang Yixing everyone is talking about?”

“Ah is everyone talking about him?” Sehun laughed as Yixing broke the hug, his ears perking up at the mention of his name, “Yes it is him.” The youngest noticed the awkward greeting shared between the two, “Yixing, this is Junmyeon. Junmyeon, Yixing.”

Junmyeon smiled widely and they both bowed, “Nice to meet you finally,” He then narrowed his eyes at Sehun, “and it’s hyung Sehun-ah, you know that.” Sehun proceeded to mock the others facial expression much to Junmyeon’s annoyance, he hit the back of the boys head.

“Hey!” Sehun rubbed his head and clutched his heart in mock hurt, “Do you see how he treats me Yixing, Yifan!” The two only chuckled when the second oldest slapped his arm lightly.

“You didn’t say it again!”

“Hyung, hyuuung, hyuunnnnnnng!” Sehun emphasized on the word as his smile grew, “Better Junmyeon hyung?”

The other stared blank faced, “I will hit you again for being sarcastic.”

He playfully threw himself at his hyung, “But I am the baby of our friends! Don’t be so cruel ahh.” The younger was then being pulled back by arms around his waist, a warm breath touching his skin as the person spoke.

“Be a good boy Sehun-ah.” He turned to see a smug look on none other than Yixing’s face and if the others weren’t present he would have kissed that distant smirk right off of his face.

Junmyeon made an approving noise, “Well its final, I defiantly like you Yixing.” The boy giggled, the sight of it making Sehun smile but it slowly changed to a pout.  
“Yixiiinnng, don’t make me bite you,” he lowered his voice so only Yixing could here, adding, “and I mean, don’t make me bite your lip.” With a confused expression, Sehun quirked his eyebrows and that’s when a light must have turned on in the olders head.

“Sehun!” He pulled his arms away from around the now laughing boy but he then shocked the younger when he bit his own bottom lip and raised his eyebrows, “maybe later.” Yixing was glad with the reaction he received while Yifan and Junmyeon stood a few steps away, confusion written on their faces as the other two began to blatantly flirt with each other.

\---

“We should have a party! For your coming back.”

They were now standing in the back area of the cafe where Luhan and Jongin worked after closing time. Where Yixing also now knew it to be Junmyeon’s cafe.  
“I never left.”

“Ah you know what I mean,” Baekhyun lifted himself onto one of the counters, “I haven’t partied in a while.”

Chanyeol let out an obnoxious laugh, “You were at a party just last night!”

“Yeah, last night.. That was like seven hours ago.” The tall boy tsked.

“Hyung, Yixing needs to rest for a while.”

“I’m okay.” Sehun and Luhan shot disapproving looks.

“That settles it then, my house tomorrow night!”

“Get off the counter!” Junmyeon suddenly appearing out of nowhere swatted a squealing Baekhyun on the head with the end of a broom, “Every time... do you realise food gets prepared on these counters?”

“I do know, you tell me every time.” Baekhyun smirked at the judging stare coming from the other.

“Anyway,” The oldest shoved the broom in his hands, “What is happening tomorrow night?”

“Paaaarrtyy.” Baekhyun jumped up and down on the spot whilst a now irritated Chanyeol tried to get out the dust in the boys hair from the broom. “Would you stand still for a moment?”

“Ah? Why are you so grumpy?” Baekhyun danced around the broom still held in his hand and then he turned into a fit of laughter, “Look,” The boy was now grinding against the broomstick, “I’m pole dancing.” He ignored all the boy’s judging stares (although he didn’t miss Chanyeol trying to hold back his laughter) as he lowered his body to the floor, the movement causing his footing to lose balance on some flour scattered over the floor; him and the broom crashing to the ground.

Chanyeol couldn’t help his laughter this time, the others soon following suit except for Junmyeon who kept a straight face. “And there you go,” Junmyeon picked the broom up and returned to his cleaning.

“Hey!” Baekhyun yelled to the boys back from the floor, “You expected that didn’t you!?”

Baekhyun didn’t see the smile that formed on Junmyeon’s mouth.


	8. The Party

Yixing knew from just the outside of Baekhyun’s house that he must come from a wealthy family. The house was a bit further from the city and it was four stories high, clad with fancy lights that decorated the driveway right to the entrance. There were already so many cars parked that it confused him.

“Wasn’t this just a close friend’s party?” He whispered to Luhan who laughed.

“Knowing Baekhyun’s parties, it will be more than that.”

Well Luhan wasn’t wrong. Once they reached the house it was full, people were creating mayhem at the front of the house, whilst some sat on roofs; drinks or cigarettes in their hands. Yixing swallowed, he didn’t like parties, not ones where he didn’t know people. If it was like this outside then he didn’t want to know what it will be like inside. Could he just make an excuse now before anyone sees him and run away.

“Hey!” Too late.

Baekhyun had spotted both Yixing and Luhan from the balcony and now made his way towards them, “You’re late, ah well the party has only started.” That was an understatement. Up close Yixing could see the amount of eyeliner the boy had on, he had come to realise the eye makeup was a common style for Baekhyun but he had never seen him with this much and yet he was able to pull it off.

“Only started? People look like they’re drunk already,” Luhan exclaimed and looked around him, pointing at some nearby people, “or either high as a kite.”

Baekhyun laughed, “It’s not a party without that, come on!” The boy grabbed their hands and dragged them to the front door. Yixing couldn’t tell if Baekhyun was drunk or if this was his usual crazy behaviour.

Ah yes it was worse inside. Yixing wouldn’t be able to explain what the large house looks like as everywhere you looked there were people and the room was as if it had been filled with fog from a smoke machine. He checked his surroundings for said machine but as he knew deep down there wasn’t one as it was all explained when he spotted a big shisha in the middle of the room. Yixing didn’t miss the nervous side glance directed towards him from Luhan.

A drink being shoved in his face broke his thoughts but before he could take the beverage Luhan grabbed it, “Come on Lu, he can have at least one.” Now they had to yell to be heard over the pounding music. Luhan sighed but didn’t argue as he passed the drink to Yixing making Baekhyun smile, “and guess who is getting drunk tonight, you!” He pointed to a wide eyed Luhan.

“Wha –“ He was cut off as Baekhyun once again took hold of his hand and led him to another room. Yixing did laugh in there leave, a drunk Luhan would be interesting to see.  
Yixing’s smile then fell as he realised he was now left alone. He stared at the drink in his hand for a while, shivering as he remembered what happened the last time he drank alcohol but then again that was a public club and he did have too much to drink. One wouldn’t hurt.

But that one drink turned into a second one and he already felt light headed. He cursed being a lightweight. He hadn’t spotted anyone he knew yet but there were some people who had approached him. The first person was an extremely drunk guy who had slurred a hello and then tripped right into his shoulder. The next were two girls who literally rubbed their bodies against him, luckily, he was able to escape and the last were a couple of guys asking him if he had any coke with him and he had a hunch they were probably not talking about the drink.

The thought of leaving came to his head again but then he spotted who he had wanted to see. Sehun was standing in a corner with two other people, a guy and a girl who he didn’t know. But wow did Sehun look good... no no that would be a lie, he looked freaking amazing. His hair was messily but stylishly pushed back slightly – Yixing betting it was from him running his hand through his hair, a habit the younger seemed to have – and he was wearing black jeans, accompanied by rips in the knees and a plain black elbow length sleeved shirt with yes, black shoes. The casual look was ridiculously attractive on him.

Deciding on whether to approach him or not Sehun must have noticed him as he was now pushing through the crowd of people. “You came! I thought you changed your mind as you didn’t show.”

“Is it too late to change my mind?” This made Sehun grin and wrap an arm over his shoulder.

“If it gets out of hand you and I can always make a run for it.” The younger laughed, “I may have had some drinks now.” He leaned his head closer to Yixing’s ear, “Shh don’t tell anyone I am underage,” Yixing tsked but smiled a little.

“Bad boy,”

“Oooh yeah I am a bad boy Yixing,” Sehun then pushed the slightly surprised older against the wall, “punish me for being so bad.”

Yixing looked up at the boys straight face, kind of annoyed how he sometimes couldn’t read what the other was thinking, especially in moments like these. “I-I changed my mind, you’re a good boy.”

Sehun pulled back with a huff, “By punish, I mean sex you know, really really good sex... I need sex”

Yixing stared bewildered, knowing a sober Sehun would never say such things, “You’re so drunk.” He pushed the younger back towards the two he was standing with before, “How much has he had to drink?”

The girl laughed, “Since he has been standing with us, three drinks,”

“But he was already tipsy when he approached us,” the boy cut in with a roll to his eyes as he ruffled Sehun’s hair, “Your poor young soul.”

Sehun cursed as he tried to fix his hair, “Donghae hyung! I am mature enough!” This made Donghae and the girl laugh.

“You keep telling yourself that little one.”

Sehun huffed again and crossed his arms, Donghae disregarding the action with a chuckle, now focusing on Yixing. “Hey, I am Donghae and this is Jessica.”

He returned both of their smiles. “I am Yixing,”

The girl, Jessica, cooed, “You’re the one Sehun won’t stop talking about!”

Donghae laughed as Sehun side eyed Jessica, “He was right, you are very cute,” Jessica noticed the glare from the younger and corrected herself, “Oh and very handsome.” Sehun threw his arms in the air.

“That wasn’t a sign for you to add to it,” Sehun grabbed a blushing Yixing, “and he is mine,” he stirred him in the other direction, glaring at Donghae who yelled out, “Have fun with your ‘little bunny’.”

Yixing made a confused expression, “little bunny?”

Sehun groaned, “You weren’t supposed to find out about that name.”

The older smiled and made a noise that Sehun found way too cute, “You call me your little bunny.” For some reason this uplifted the older’s mood by a lot as he allowed Sehun to lead him into the kitchen where Jongdae, Junmyeon, Baekhyun, Luhan and others were. Yixing also spotted Minseok sitting on the counter behind Luhan’s seat, he must have invited him.

Everyone in the room was a laughing mess, especially Jongdae who had his arms around a smiling Junmyeon to keep him upright as they watched Baekhyun and Luhan down shots of what seemed to be straight Soju, judging by the bottles scattered over the small kitchen table.

“I hate you!”

“Ahh let loose Luhan,” Baekhyun drank another shot, scrunching up his face at the burning sensation in his throat, “Trust me, you will feel this soon.” Luhan huffed as he shoved another down his throat.

Minseok jumped from the counter and rounded on the two, examining the amount of shots taken, “Lu you’re losing! Drink drink drink!”

Said boy grumbled in reply, “You try doing this!” Minseok rolled his eyes and grabbed two of the shot glasses, one in both hands and repositioned himself behind the boy.

“Now just follow my lead,” He placed both shots against Luhan’s mouth who sputtered incoherent words. This causing his mouth to open, Minseok titled the glasses without warning, the warm liquid from both shots running down his throat. Luhan coughed a little but otherwise was able to swallow it without throwing it back up. Minseok smirked, “You took that quite well.”

“Hey that’s cheating!”

Minseok turned his smirk to Baekhyun, “he’s still drinking it isn’t he?” He raised his eyebrows, “Can you swallow two at a time?”

Baekhyun glared, “I could swallow four.”

He now grinned, “Prove it.”

Baekhyun shrugged his shoulders like it was no big deal, asking a boy nearby to hold two glasses for him whilst he held another two. Minseok began a countdown from five and once he hit one the boy threw back the shots, and like Minseok predicted he choked some back up.

He took hold of Luhan’s arm and shoved it into the air in victory, “and Luhan wins!” Minseok then connected hands with a slightly dizzy Luhan as they went to leave he patted Baekhyun’s back, “Good game though.” He just missed the slap to his arm as the two ran from the kitchen.

“CHEATER!”

\---

Sehun had left his side for a few minutes, leaving to go help Baekhyun with getting more drinks from the upstairs fridge. The alcohol had finally made its way to Luhan’s system as Yixing watched him clumsily dance around the room with a laughing Minseok attached to his side. Unfortunately the two glasses of alcohol he had taken were getting out of his system now and his mood had dropped. Thoughts of his parents and the torture his job brought to him came to his head. As if some miracle (or not) a girl appeared in front of him, waving what looked to be a decent sized pill in front of his face, “You look like you could use a pick up man.”

“What is it?”

The girl stumbled back, “You don’t ask, you only take,” and then she was smirking, closing the distance between them and placing her hand with the pill against his mouth, Yixing felt the substance drop onto his tongue and the girl ran her hands through the back of his hair before she gripped it, tilting his head up, “now swallow it.”

Yixing could have pulled away but why didn’t he? Those thoughts that made him want to just jump over a cliff and end his life now was why. How bad could it be? He swallowed it as the girl soon pulled back, her smirk still evident on her face, “you’re so obedient, I like you.”

The girl was now leaning back in again but this time she wasn’t stopping, her lips inches apart from his own and this time Yixing did pull away. When he looked back up there was new company, Yifan.

He pulled the girl a distance away and glanced at Yixing than back to her, “Why are you bothering my friends now?” The girl laughed.

“Do you want some too?” She pulled an identical pill out from her jacket pocket and Yifan cursed.

“Why would I have tha – wait – you didn’t,” He turned to Yixing who had been staring intently at the ground, “You didn’t have one did you?” He received a shrug so the older shook Yixing’s shoulders, “Shit, Yixing you need to tell me now if you did or not.” Another shrug and the girls laugh could be heard again.

“Oh he defiantly did, without a second thought.” Yixing could feel Yifans hands tense at his shoulders.

“Why did you fucking offer him one!?”

“He looked so miserable, don’t blame me,” The girl turned on her heel, “Have a good time.”

Yifan grumbled and mocked her voice, before mumbling, “Shit.”

He clasped a hand to Yixing’s wrist and began dragging him through the dancing crowd; he attracted the eyes of Sehun, Baekhyun, Jongin and Kyungsoo who also caught up to a panicked Yifan.

Sehun rushed to Yixing’s side, “What happened?”

“That girl, the one handing out those fucking pills, h-he took one.”

The younger looked at him with shock, “What?”

Yifan could only nod, “Quick, we need him to throw it up.” The boys all helped taking an uncooperative Yixing to the bathroom, who had suddenly become very heavy, “Ah it’s already kicking in!”

Jongin who practically kicked the bathroom door open yelled at the surprised couple who were half naked mid make out session inside to get out while Kyungsoo and Sehun tugged Yixing to his knees in front of the toilet.

“Okay, hold him up for me,” Yifan didn’t waste time in shoving his fingers down Yixing’s throat, the boy instantly gagging at the intrusion, “come on, come on –“ Success. Yifan quickly removed his fingers as Yixing threw up the last few hours of food and liquids consumed.

Sehun felt his quicken heartbeat begin to slow down, knowing that that pill would be out of his system was a relief. The girl who called herself Ally had been handing out the tiny tablets since the party had started and those who had taken them had fallen very sick... after the high it brought of course.

Although relieved Yifan exploded, “Why the fuck would you do that? You were basically only released from the hospital a day ago and may I remind you that was because of drugs too!” He sat on the edge of the bathtub and took a deep breath to try and calm himself, “I can’t imagine what you must be going through but please stop trying to hurt yourself.”  
Yixing was shaking now, “S-stop trying to hurt myself?” There was anger in his voice which surprised the others. Not once had they seen Yixing get angry, “Don’t you get it? I am in continuous pain, and I do this to myself to forget that pain and direct it to something else. Do you think I enjoy this!?”

“Yixing...”

There were tears beginning to fall down his cheeks. “N-no, you don’t get it; I would rather be dead than to have to live through this nightmare any longer!” and with that the boy stumbled to his feet and walked out the door, not without banging it.

Yifan heaved a sigh and moved his position to in the bathtub, rubbing his temples; Jongin joined him while Kyungsoo sat on the bathroom floor. There was a moment of silence where Sehun contemplated going after Yixing or to allow him some time to himself but he soon came to his senses, that boy couldn’t be alone for more than three minutes.  
Luckily Yixing hadn’t gotten far or through this many people he would have had a hard time finding him. He was sitting by a window a bit further away from the people with his head in his hands and Sehun didn’t have to be a genius to know he was crying. Sehun placed his hand on his shoulder and the older tried to shift closer to the wall if that was possible, “Hey, it’s okay. It’s only me.” Yixing sniffed but didn’t acknowledge him, “Unless you don’t want to see me.” That would be understandable, if he needed time alone Sehun could still watch him from a distance. Just in case. But as he turned to leave he heard a quiet mumble and when he turned back Yixing was suddenly in his arms, his head buried into Sehun’s neck where he could feel the boy’s damp tears against his skin.

Sehun patted the olders head, “Come on, I know somewhere much quieter.”

\---

That’s how Yixing found himself on Baekhyun’s roof, Sehun making an approving noise, “Good, no one here.” The older sat down against the wall, Sehun joining him after he closed the window that led to the roof, making sure it wasn’t shut completely or they would be stuck out here.

“My mouth tastes gross,” The words that came from Yixing made Sehun chuckle.

“Well you did just throw up... for a good reason.”

Yixing frowned, “Can’t you let me just die.”

Sehun forced a smile; he hated to hear those words coming from Yixing. He brought the older closer to his side, “Sorry, that’s not going to happen,” This time a real smile appeared, “I like you too much.”

“I like you too but I... I hate myself.”

“You shouldn’t, you are the kindest person hyung, I bet you wouldn’t even hurt a fly.”

Yixing pulled back with a gasp, “I did accidentally kill a fly once!”

Yixing’s voice was filled with such worry that Sehun laughed, leaning his head against the olders shoulder, “You’re so cute.”

“I’m not.”

“Yes you are.”

“No”

“Yes”

“No”

“Yes”

“No”

Sehun blew gently on Yixing’s neck who pulled away with a high pitched squeal, turning back to a smug Sehun with a pout, “Yes, you cute.” The older proceeded to slap a now laughing Sehun’s arm over and over.

\---

Sehun ended up falling asleep on Yixing’s shoulder, while Yixing stared at the sky. It was a nice night; some stars were seen through gaps of clouds that were starting to form. It would probably start snowing any day now as over the last few weeks frost had formed over the streets.

Yixing felt his phone vibrate against his leg and he didn’t have to check to know who it was. His boss hadn’t stopped trying to contact him since his overdose... god would he be angry. He once got on the bosses bad side for missing one client and that resulting in his poor stomach getting kicked repeatedly. He was sure there would have been many clients by now but Yixing didn’t want to know. He was really hoping he could get away with this.

The window opening gladly broke the bad thoughts as Yifan’s head appeared in view, “I thought you guys may be out here.” His voice was distant and that’s when Yixing remembered the outburst he had.

“I’m sorry about before... I know you’re just helping me.”

A small smile appeared on Yifans face, “Don’t apologise, its okay. I’m sorry too.”

“Well people are slowly starting to leave, finally,” Yifan laughed, “Baekhyun said we could sleep at his if we wanted... the stupid boy is passed out now.” He shook his head, “Zitao and I are on duty of pushing everyone left out of the house. It’s quite entertaining.”

Yixing chuckled, “I can help, let me just,” He shifted the sleeping boy’s body, “Sehun-ah, we’re going to go inside now.” A little whine escaped the younger and he curled closer to Yixing’s body. Yifan laughed.

“Let me help.”

They both were able to hold Sehun through the large window, well, they may have accidentally bumped his head on the top but he managed to still stay asleep, “Probably the alcohol,” Yifan grinned.

\---

They were able to get the last few people out of the house, the room now much quieter but it was obvious there was a party, “The house is a mess!”

Chanyeol grinned, “Let’s leave that for when Baekhyun wakes tomorrow.”

“Yes hangover and all.”

Yixing laughed at Chanyeol and Yifan’s evil plan for Baekhyun while he crawled under the covers beside Sehun on the fold out sofa and draped an arm over the youngers middle. He heard Sehun whisper, “Goodnight cutie.” A small smile found its way to Yixing’s lips and he hugged closer to the warm body.


	9. I Trust You

Sehun squeezed his eyes shut; he was in a deep sleep when Baekhyun’s whining had waked him up.

“Why wouldn’t you clean up a bit?”

“Who is the one that decides to have house parties all the time, what do you expect?”

“Stop yelling, my head hurts!”

“I’m not yelling,” Sehun expected what was coming next. He opened one eyelid and watched as Chanyeol leaned closer to Baekhyuns ear and opened his huge mouth, “THIS IS YELLING!” Sehun rolled his eyes when Baekhyun shot out of his blanket and chased Chanyeol around the living room, stopping every once in awhile to hold his probably throbbing head, “You’re a dick Park Chanyeol!”

Chanyeol stopped his running and began to laugh, “But you love my dick so if I’m a dick than you love me also.”

Baekhyun stared with his mouth agape when the others who were awake all made ‘Oooh’ noises, Chanyeol soon realised what he had just said and tried to save it, “If you knew what my dick tasted like...” Baekhyun face palmed.

“Aha! We all knew you two were sleeping together!”

“Shut up Jongdae.” The two said in unison.

Sehun snickered, those idiots. Everyone secretly knew that Baekhyun and Chanyeol had something going on between them for a long time now; the two had always been making terrible excuses to get themselves alone.

While a new conversation arose between the others Sehun shifted back, deciding on hoping to get more sleep when the back of his leg came into contact with something. He guessed it was Yixing’s hand but the older groaned and sat up right.

“Yixing hyung, it’s okay, it’s just me,” He thought maybe he was having a bad dream so Sehun tried to comfort him but Yixing only pulled away more, eyes wide, he grabbed one of the blankets from the sofa and wrapped it awkwardly around himself and not glancing back, he shuffled in the direction of the bathroom, the door slamming shut.  
Sehun frowned, confused for a moment when it hit him. He had been in a situation like that before and he knew that Yixing defiantly had morning wood. He couldn’t be wrong. Maybe

To prove his point (and his curiosity) he too made for the bathroom, stopping outside the closed door, he knocked a few times. No answer  
“It’s Sehun.” The younger tsked when again there was no reply, “I’m coming in okay?” This time he did hear shuffling behind the door but he didn’t wait for a reply as he opened it slowly, enough time for Yixing to stop him if he wanted to. Except he couldn’t see any sign of the older, he actually doubted the boy had come into the bathroom until he pushed the door open further and he heard a groan. Sehun clicked his tongue and looked behind the door and of course there he was, “What are you doing?”

“Wha – Why doesn’t the door have a lock?”

Sehun laughed, “Baekhyun takes them off when he has parties, you know so he can walk in on the people trying to do the dirty in his house and stop them.”

Yixing looked to be in thought before he made a frustrated whine, “Do you need to use the toilet?”

The younger shook his head, “Is that what you’re going to do? – Or – are you going to stand in here with that blanket around your waist?”

The boy groaned and with his free hand he shut the door, this time he leaned against it not wanting someone else to come and barge in, “I have to wait... don’t make this harder than it is.”

Sehun bit back a laugh, he couldn’t help the next words that came from his mouth, “Is it already too hard?”

The older looked at him as Sehun was wiggling his eyebrows, Yixing cheeks became warmer, “how did you know?”

“The blanket, getting out of sight in a second, yeah, it happened to me once, ” Yixing gave him a questioning look, “It was when I slept over at Jongin’s, luckily he was still asleep. If he saw he would have teased me about it forever.”

“B-but it’s normal to happen, right?”

The younger smiled, “of course, yes, it’s just that friend’s can be jerks,”

“Will you be a jerk about it?”

“Hey, now I am not a jerk friend or... I could be your jerk friend,” Sehun covered his mouth in a sudden fit of laughter, “Do you get it? Jerk...” Yixing groaned again, hitting the boy on the shoulder lightly.

“Really? Stop with the puns Sehun-ah.”

Once he settled down Sehun made to leave, “okay, I will let you take care of it,” but before he did leave he watched Yixing close the toilet lid and sit on it resting his chin in his hands. This made him stop, “You’re um, not going to take care of it?”

“I wait till it goes.”

“You don’t... you know” He didn’t have to escalate as Yixing was already shaking his head, “But that’s the fun way.” Sehun smirked but dropped it when Yixing didn’t show signs of interest.

“I’ve never done that... I don’t think I could ever feel pleasure,” he sighed, “If sex was pleasure than pleasure h-hurts.”

“Yixing...” Sehun stepped closer, he didn’t have to ask to know what the older was talking about, “that isn’t what pleasure feels like,” He furrowed his eyebrows, “God, I want to hurt the people who did such things to you.” He heard Yixing sniff, knowing the boy was crying he lifted his head and gently wiped the tears dripping down his face with his thumb. An idea came to Sehun’s head, “Yixing, let me give you pleasure.”

“What?”

“I won’t hurt you.”

Yixing’s eyes looked frantically around, avoiding Sehun’s gaze, “I-I don’t know Sehun, I w-will se-see them and pan-ic. I d-don’t think I ca –“

“Yixing,” This time the older looked at him, his tears had stopped but his bottom lip still trembled, “You can do it, just look at me,” Sehun ran his hand through the boy’s messy bed hair, “I’m not them. I would never hurt you.”

Yixing nodded fast, “I k-know you wouldn’t, I trust you, it’s j-just...” He let out a long sigh, “I’m pathetic.”

“No you are not,” He took Yixing’s hand, pulling the boy to his feet, he turned him so his back was against the door, “You’re everything but pathetic.”

“I’m weak.”

Sehun tsked and leaned his forehead against Yixing’s, “You’re everything but the bad words.” He placed a quick kiss to the older’s lips who returned it. “Now, just look at me, okay?” Yixing hesitated but soon nodded as Sehun trailed his fingers down his chest and to his lower stomach. He detached the tightened hold on the blanket from Yixing and with his other hand he undid his belt, tossing it into the basin he then proceeded to the older’s jeans, Yixing made a little whine of protest, Sehun kissed the tip of the olders nose which in return rewarded him with a little giggle that made the younger smile, “It’s okay, only a little bit?” When Yixing gave a nod, he undid his jeans and pulled them down a little. The boy gasped when Sehun lightly traced his fingers up the clothed length of his cock. “It’s okay,” The younger looked up to see that the others eyes were shut tightly, “Yixing, look at me,” He placed a comforting hand to Yixing’s cheek, and repeated his words but this time in a whisper, “look at me.”

Yixing leaned into the touch and opened his eyes slowly, he stared into Sehun’s eyes when the younger once again trailed his length but this time he used his palm and a strange feeling went to his abdomen, but surprisingly it was a good strange. Clients were never supposed to touch Yixing’s there but there had been a few who had dismissed those rules and this is why he could never bring himself to touch when it needed to be. He just didn’t want to remember but right now it wasn’t like those times. Those guys were rough, disrespectful, when Sehun was gentle and looked at him with such adoration in his eyes that it was actually sending sparks of pleasure through every touch to his hardening member.

Sehun took the small moan coming from Yixing as a lead to go further but before that he quickly look around his surroundings for some kind of lubricant, deciding on the soap that was in arms reach he squirted a decent amount into his palm and returned his hand to Yixing’s but this time he dipped his hand beneath the older’s underwear and wrapped his lubricant fingers around his cock, he began to slowly stroke it, enjoying the soft sounds coming from Yixing’s mouth. Yixing was big, Sehun could tell just from touching it. It would only be a bit smaller than his own and thicker. The younger let a small moan escape his lips at the thought of it.

“You’re doing good baby,” What surprised Sehun next was when Yixing grabbed hold of the front of his shirt and pulled him into a kiss, a kiss that was slow but soon heated up as Sehun pumped Yixing’s dick faster, making sure to slow down when he got to the tip to press down lightly and encircle it with his thumb. The older let out a low moan and Sehun took this chance to slide his tongue into his mouth, both of their tongues now entwining together.

Sehun’s member was also painfully hard now, -of course why wouldn’t it be- but this wasn’t about his pleasure, this was for Yixing and the fact that he was enjoying this was all he needed.

“S-Seh...ahh Sehun, I I w-won’t last – ahh.. longer.” At this Sehun quickened his hand, swallowing every moan the boy had to offer, he himself also moaning loudly at the sight of the boy so dishevelled all because of him. It wasn’t long after when Yixing reached his climax, he felt the older stiffen in his hold before he threw his head back against the door and moaned a throaty “S-Sehuuuun!” His cock releasing onto his own shirt and over Sehun’s hand, biting his lip at the sight.

Sehun had to hold up Yixing from collapsing against the door as he came down from his high, instead he pulled him into his arms, Yixing wrapped his arms around Sehun’s neck and tried to calm his breathing down, “Whhoa... whoooa.” Sehun chuckled.

“W-why did that feel s-so good?” The older stuttered, still trying to catch his breath.

The younger smiled, “I told you,” They pulled apart and shared another kiss, “now let me clean you up.”

Yixing blushed as he watched Sehun clean his release and pulled his underwear and jeans up for him, “T-thank you Sehun, for th-this and e-everything really.” He threw his arms around the youngers middle, mumbling into his neck, “It means a lot to me.”

Sehun nuzzled his nose into his hair and breathed in his scent, “Anything for you.”

There was silence for a while as the two stayed in there embrace, enjoying the sounds of just their breathing and their bodies touching until Yixing ‘Oooed’ and pulled away, “What about y-your thingy, it looks you know...” Sehun laughed.

“My thingy? You are the cutest do you know that – but don’t worry about it.”

“Wah, are you sure?”

Sehun smiled, his eyes turning into crescents, “I’m sure.” He brought Yixing closer again, his smile turning wider when he felt the older kiss his chest quickly.

Their moment was interrupted when loud knocking came from the door and Jongdae’s voice followed, “Are you two done in there?”

They both stared at each other, quietly arguing who to speak when a new voice was heard, Jongin, “You realise we can hear you whispering.”

“And don’t forget to mention we heard the whole thing that just happened!” Bellowed Chanyeol’s voice.

“And in my bathroom!!”

Yixing’s mouth hung open in embarrassment, now he was sure his whole face had become a shade of pink so he let his head fall to Sehun’s chest, hoping it to just disappear inside his skin. Despise the situation the younger chuckled at the cute response the younger did of being heard and stroked his hand through Yixing’s hair.  
“Yeah? Well I hope you enjoyed it!”

\---

Two days later....

 

Yixing rummaged through his backpack for the keys to his apartment. He had just returned from a date with Sehun, if he could call it that. He was still confused with what the two of them were. Yixing would defiantly call it more than friends but Sehun had never mentioned anything on the term of boyfriends and Yixing being too insecure on the subject never mentioned it either. When he thought he had the courage to ask he would remember what his parents said about the same gender’s dating, how it was disgusting and not right but then Yixing would get mad at himself for caring about what his parents think. He himself didn’t think there was anything wrong with it so why was his pathetic excuse of parent’s voices coming into his head. Yixing finally found the keys and unlocked the door with a sigh; he came to the conclusion that his parents were out to haunt him.

He tried not to think about it and rather think about the events of the night that took place. Sehun had taken him to a Taiwanese Restaurant in Seoul and Yixing had found out why when the younger ordered bubble tea with his meal although he refused that was the reason, “the restaurant is good and it just so happens to have my favourite drink.” After that they had then gone to see a movie, which was chosen at random by scrolling through the choices and watching whatever it stopped on. Much to their amusement it ended up being Daddy’s Home when both of them really wanted it to be The Revenant. “We can’t change it now that would be disobeying our rules.” So Yixing couldn’t say if the movie was good or not because it was mostly spent making out with Sehun in the back row.

Yixing smiled at the memory but it dropped when he turned on the light. Minseok was sitting; hunched on the end of his bed, dark bruises and minor cuts adorned his face, “H-hyung what happe –“

“Yixing, where have you been?”

“I was...”

“Never mind, pack your bag,” Minseok stood with what looked to be with difficulty, “quickly, I don’t know how long it will be now,”

Yixing stared confused as he watched the older grabbing whatever he could and stuffing it into a suitcase, “how long for what – Minseok what happened to you?” The boy let out a frustrated groan as he threw to Yixing a bag that already looked to be full.

“Woojin he – he is angry with your absence and he knew that we were close so – Yixing can you help me pack,” Yixing shook out of his frozen stance and began helping the other, the whole while his heart began to thump hard against his chest, not liking where this was going, “Thanks – so he questioned me and I... I accidentally told him where you live,” Minseok swore under his breath, “I’m sorry but he – he kept hitting me and I couldn’t... shit, so he is coming for you and you wouldn’t answer your phone – dammit – he could be here any minute now.”

Yixing tried to take in the information as he rushed to grab the important things but he stopped once it kicked in, “He beat you?”

“Yixing...” The older froze when headlights shone through the closed curtains, rushing to the window he peaked outside, “fuck, they’re here.” He looked around frantically, Yixing soon realising in his also panicked state that he was looking for another way out.

“T-the back window, there are side stairs,” That was all was needed for Minseok to halt the backpack to his back and grab a suitcase, leaving the other two to Yixing as he ran with a limp in the direction the younger pointed with a “hurry up.” Yixing shakily picked up the remaining bags and made for the back window but stopped halfway, knowing he forgot something he turned back to the living room, Minseok yelling after him.

He immediately found what he was looking for but almost jumped out of his skin when the front door banged loudly. Deciding now was not a good time for a last check of his apartment he bolted back to where Minseok was waiting and the two climbed out the window, shutting it behind them and onto the stairs where they made for the ground floor.

\---

Yixing was breathing hard, panic and adrenaline still rushing through his body. He was seated in the passenger side of Minseok’s car who kept peering in the rear view mirror every second, “M-Minseok slow down, they’re not following.”

The older slammed his foot on the break causing both of them to pull forward uncomfortably, “S-sorry,” he breathed in a shaky breath before putting the car in drive again, this time taking into account the speed limit, “That’s what you went back for?” Yixing saw Minseok glance towards his lap and the younger hugged the object closer to his chest, “a stuffed bunny?”

“I-Its important to me.” To his relief Minseok didn’t question it. Yixing wasn’t in the mood for explaining, not when his mind was running over what had just happened and what was to come. He was stupid to think he could get away with not returning, these guys were not to mess with and it was very obvious now. Yixing didn’t ask where Minseok was taking them but rather lay his head against the window – Minseok. He was hurt because of him, if you just had stopped being a wimp and returned to the club – you knew this would happen – it’s your fault. He bit his bottom lip hard when he felt tears begin to swell in his eyes.

Minseok put a hand on his shoulder, rubbing it in a means of comfort, “Try to get some sleep.” But the gesture didn’t comfort Yixing, it only made him feel worse for making Minseok go through such torture... and all for you. He buried his head in the bunnies soft material as he felt warm tears stream down his face. It’s all your fault.


	10. Revenge

Yixing shut the bathroom door behind him and took off his pants and sweater, discarding them to a corner and then turned on the shower.

They booked a hotel that was twenty minutes from the city, it wasn’t anything fancy due to the lack of money; small living area with one bed and small kitchenette and a bathroom but it was shelter and hopefully safe from Woojin and his workers.

He left the shower running as he unzipped his bag and began searching for what he was looking for. Minseok had gone back downstairs to buy something to eat from the vending machine so he would be gone for a while. Yixing became frustrated when he couldn’t find it, scowling he turned his backpack upside down, the contents inside falling to the cold tiles. Yixing flinched when the photograph he had of his parents with himself in his wallet stared at him from the floor. He had forgotten he had that. He sank to the floor and picked it up. He couldn’t remember the day the photo was taken but he looked to be around five years old. His parents were holding him, big smiles on their faces... including Yixing. Yixing felt new tears slide down his cheeks; he wanted to rip the photo, burn it, flush it down the toilet but yet he couldn’t bring himself to do any of that.

Instead he threw it to the side, and now needing it more than ever, he found what he was looking for; the scissor blade. He didn’t waste any time in placing the tip of the blade to his thigh and pressing it down, sliding it across his skin; once, twice, three times. Yixing squeezed his eyes shut tightly as he hissed at the pain, and in that brief moment the problems faded from his mind as he watched his blood ooze from the cut and slide down his leg. The pain didn’t last long, something that had been happening recently, he was becoming numb to the feeling and now what he relied on was the amount of blood he lost; the dizziness that it brought, and having a blood clotting disorder it benefited, the feeling would come quicker.

“Yixing?”

The younger startled at Minseok’s voice behind the door, “Y-yes?”

“What are you doing?”

Yixing looked to the shower that was still running hot water and to the steam that had started to fill the room, “Showering.”

There was a pause before an answer, “Really Yixing-ah? Because I can see your shadow under the door.” Yixing quickly moved from the door as if it would prove his point now, “...and blood – Yixing!” He winced when he saw that the blood had dripped to the floor in his attempt to move.

“I’m fine hyung.”

“Yixing open the door.”

“I-I’m f-fine...”

Minseok leaned his head on the door when the others voice choked on his words, “Yixing.” He heard the shower turn off before the door opened slowly revealing a teary eyed Yixing in a pullover hoodie that was way too big for him that it made Minseok chuckle, “I think that pullover is a bit big.”

Yixing pulled the sleeves over his hands with a small smile, “It’s Sehun’s”

“That would be too big on Sehun too. – ah Yixing,” The older, almost forgetting noticed the blood running down Yixing’s leg, “Go on the bed, there must be a first aid kit in here somewhere.” Minseok disappeared into the bathroom, soon coming back with bandages and disinfectant.

“Hyung I’m fine.”

“Will you stop saying that when you’re getting paler every second.” Minseok lifted the bottom of the hoodie revealing the cuts that made him gasp, “Why are you cutting so deep!?”  
“I-I’m trying to feel it –“

Minseok shushed him with a shake of his head, ordering the younger to lie down in case he faints from blood loss, “I wish you would stop doing this to yourself... have you told Sehun-ah?”

“N-no,” Yixing bit his lip to try and stop more tears, “If he knew... hyung he w-would think I’m crazy.”

“If he thinks anything of the sort he will be sorry,” Yixing bit his lip harder at the sting from the disinfectant, “Do you think you’re crazy Yixing-ah?” He didn’t get a reply but only a shrug, “Because you’re not, okay? Please know that.”

When Minseok finished with his cuts and had cleaned up the blood he told Yixing to get some sleep as it was getting late, “I will join you soon, I’m just going to eat.” Yixing frowned as he watched Minseok limp to the small table by the window.

“I’m sorry hyung, it’s my f-fault that you’re hurt, if I would have just – “

“Yixing don’t – “

“But...”

“It wasn’t your fault, trust me. Now sleep.”

Yixing sighed, turned on his side and tried to bury himself in Sehun’s pullover hoping sleep would come.

\---

Having not been able to fall asleep, Yixing only stirred when his phone vibrated against the bedside table, not wanting the sound to wake Minseok as he only had fallen asleep he quickly grabbed it. His stomach did an unpleasant turn when he saw who had messaged him and when he read it – Yixing untangled himself out of the suddenly too hot blankets, clumsily put on his jeans and made for the door; closing it behind him. He stood in the outside hallway of the motel reading the message over and over again as he waited.

‘Answer my call if you don’t want a certain Sehun to die’

How did Woojin know he knew someone called Sehun. Would it be Oh Sehun. Of course it would be. Yixing’s heart felt like it was going to fall to his stomach when Woojin’s caller ID now appeared on the screen but he didn’t waste time in answering, his ear being filled with Woojin’s stupid laughter.

“So now you answer your phone.”

“What did you do to Sehun!?”

“Ahh could you not yell into the phone,” The man laughed again, “and it’s not what I haven’t done, it’s what I’m going to do.” Yixing bit his lip when next he could hear muffled groans in the background and his name being called.

“Don’t touch him!”

“But he’s such a pretty thing.”

Yixing grit his teeth, “Stop! I’ll do whatever you want, just stop.”

There were a few minutes of silence before Woojin spoke next, “Oh you’ve definitely done what I wanted – you answering this call was all I needed – see you soon for more fun huh.” The line went dead. Woojin had tracked his whereabouts by his phone; Yixing’s eyes widened but it was too late. Strong arms wrapped around his middle and Yixing dropped his phone in an attempt to try and pry the tight hold from around him but a different hand covered his mouth. He was able to get a few hits to the person’s face before a rag was being held over his mouth and nose. He knew what it was but in the situation he had no choice but to breathe in the sweet smell of the chemical and he soon gradually felt himself become weaker and weaker until he blacked out completely.

\---

When he came to he had to blink a few times for his sighting to become visible and when it did he groaned. His hands were tied together and he was being held back by two men, both who were larger than Yixing.

“I don’t know why I didn’t think of this in the first place. You’re so weak when it comes to someone your close to.” Woojin snickered but Yixing didn’t listen instead he searched everywhere in his eyesight for Sehun, “You won’t find him because he isn’t here.” Yixing turned his attention back to the man in front of him when he could hear Sehun calling his name, the same as he heard over the phone but this time repeatedly; noticing the small recorder in Woojin’s hand. “I had followed you for a while, and I was going to just grab you but when I saw you getting close to this guy Sehun, I thought, what better than having a little fun with you? So, I was able to record your little friend’s voice here and well here we are. Much better than just grabbing you I must say.”

Yixing clenched his jaw and charged forward only to be pushed back harshly by the two men, “Y-You... – you!”

Woojin raised his eyebrows, a small smirk forming on his mouth, “Me?” The man walked closer to Yixing, “Does this Sehun know that you’re a whore or are you his little bitch too?” The ugly smirk grew, “How many men have fucked you now Yixing hmm? Tell me, can you still feel the burn that they have left,” Yixing growled and without a second thought he lifted his leg, kicking Woojin hard in the crotch, the man doubled over as he tried to breath from the pain. Yixing once again was pushed roughly by the men but it was worth it this time.

“You little shit!” Woojin stood, coming closer again but this time he grabbed a knife from his pocket, “I’m sure you know what this feels like, am I right?” Yixing didn’t know if Woojin knew about his cuts or if he was just improvising but it didn’t matter when he felt the cold metal slice a thin cut across his cheek. Yixing hissed in pain, again he aimed his foot to kick the man but he stopped him, “Oh no you don’t, tie him up!” He ordered the men to the chair opposite him.

“Now tell me where your father is.”

Yixing stopped his struggling in trying to free his arms and legs that had been now tied to the chair, “My father?”

“Did I stutter? Yes your fucking father!”

“I- I don’t know – why?” He groaned when the knots around his wrists were tied tighter against the chair by one of the guys.

“Your father owes me money... and that guy sure can hide.”

Yixing blinked, “Money?”

“Don’t act stupid with me! When I found you on the streets I had no idea you were that disgusting guys son, if I knew I would have left you to die.”

Money... Yixing tried to think, what did his father do. To be honest he never really knew, only that it was something that involved travelling.

“But then I looked you up, did you know there are only three Zhang’s in Korea. Your father, your mother and you. So I believed it was fait. I would wait till you got older; I would shame you for your family name and then I will get my revenge. My revenge is now, so tell me, where is he?”

“D-do you think I know!? I – I don’t even know what you’re talking about – “

“Liar!” Yixing tried to stop the yell that escaped his lips when Woojin punched his stomach, “Tell me where he lives!”

Yixing shakily breathed in and out, “I- I d-don’t know...”

Another punch, “Tell me!”

Yixing clenched his eyes shut and blurted out the address he knew from when he was little, he wasn’t certain if his parents still lived in the same house but it would surface. But Woojin laughed bitterly, “We already knew about that address and no he doesn’t live there –“

“T-then I don’t know!”

“Do you want to make this harder!?”

“Please do,”

All eyes turned in the direction of the new voice... none other than Yixing’s father. The men immediately raised their guns in his direction, “What a coincidence, daddy to the rescue.”

The father scoffed, “No please continue your little show, it was very entertaining.”

“Oh is it?” Woojin turned his gun to aim at Yixing, “Is this entertaining for you? Huh? Tell me where my money is or I will shoot your son.”

Yixing’s father scoffed again, “Go ahead.”

Yixing felt his stomach drop, watery eyes staring disbelieving at his father which he returned with a fake smile, “I’m glad to see my son has grown up well... letting men fuck him. Should I be proud?” Yixing let out a choked sound, his tears falling this time, “shoot him, I don’t care, he is more pathetic than the day I left him.”

Woojin narrowed his eyebrows and thinking it was an act, he put all his attention to Yixing, raising the gun higher, he breathed in once, twice, before he pulled the trigger.


	11. Keep My Eyes From The Fire

Sehun threw his head back and groaned loud, stupid history test, stupid class, stupid dumb brain – Sehun paused in his overdramatic thoughts at the sound of the lecturer clearing her voice. He already knew she was looking at him.

“Mr Oh, this is the fourth time you have distracted the class,” Sehun rolled his eyes as he glanced around at the nosy students, “If you put yourself out of line one more time you will be disqualified from this test – and no this isn’t a good thing – you will receive zero points for not completing.” He had a stare off with the teacher until he got sick of it; turning his attention to Jongin in the front row of seats who gave him a ‘are you serious?’ look.

Sehun puffed out his cheeks and looked back at his paper that seemed to be terrorising him every minute. He knew this history test was important as it would determine the knowledge of the study from last semester and will be put in the rankings. Sehun didn’t want to be in the low rankings, he wasn’t bad at History; it was just that he couldn’t think properly. He stared at the question he had been stuck on now for the last fifteen minutes and frowned, biting his lip, he moved to the next question, deciding he could go back to the other one later but unfortunately it was not his day as the next question was worse; Sehun groaned. “Shit.”

Sehun’s head shot up to a shocked lecturer when he realised he had said that out loud, “Shit! – I mean... sorry!” He put his head in his hands as he heard the teachers footsteps come closer, stopping once beside him; she picked up his test paper. Sehun peaked his eyes from behind his fingers as he watched the lecturer rip the papers right through the middle, making him groan again.

“Oh Sehun! I want you out of this class immediately. Not only have you failed but you are distracting the others who have a chance.”

Sehun stood, pushing back the chair harshly in the process; making it screech across the floor. He stuffed his belongings in his bag and dragged himself towards the exit, shrugging at a cold stare from Jongin on his way past.

Sehun made his way to the courtyard, chucking his backpack at a tree before grabbing it again. Settling on the grass, he lay his head on the bag and looked up at the sky through the branches, you idiot. He only moved when his phone vibrated in his pocket, notifying him of a message from Luhan.

‘Lu – Is Yixing with you?’

Yixing... that was who he needed right now; the boy would tell him that everything would be okay. Sehun smiled slightly at the thought. ‘No, I am at class.’  
It wasn’t long before another message popped on his screen, ‘Lu – Has he contacted you?’

Sehun’s smile faltered, an unsettling feeling going through his stomach, ‘Not since last night. Is everything okay?’ Next he was getting a call from Luhan, he immediately hitting answer, “Hyung –“

“We can’t find him...”

“What do you mean –“

“M-Minseok and I, we’ve been looking – gosh,” there was puffing on the other end of the line, “Those guys at the club were going to take him – b-but they escaped, M-Minseok was hurt. Yixing was with Minseok at a motel but – but he was gone in the morning.”

“Wh-what!” Sehun pulled himself to his feet, lifting his bag to his back, he made a run for the schools exit, “Do you think he went to the club?”

He heard Luhan sigh loudly, “We checked there and no sign of him – “

“Are you sure you checked everywhere there?”

“Yes! And guess what Woojin wasn’t there either... Sehun what if he took him! What does he want?”

“Don’t say that – shit – have you tried his mobile...”

“Yes, nothing.”

Sehun stopped, “Give me a second,” He ended the call with Luhan and quickly scrolled to his contacts, coming to Yixing’s name [or rather ‘Little Xingbunny’] and clicked it, tracing the boys cellphone before calling Luhan.

“Sehun what the fu – “

“55 Chungjeongro 1-Ga, Jung-Gu, Time Motel – that’s where his phone is.”

There was a moment’s pause before an answer, “That’s the motel they stayed at last night!”

Sehun knowing where that motel was, starting running again, “Maybe he is still there somewhere,”

“Ahh cross your fingers.”

\---

When Sehun reached the motel he was out of breath, he silently thanked the gods that it was winter and not hot. He approached Minseok and Luhan who were pacing around the parking lot, “anything?” The two shook their heads. Sehun reached out his phone again, following the dot of where Yixing’s phone should be, the other two following. Sehun scowled when he found it behind one of the plants, Yixing nowhere to be seen. He picked it up.

“Where is he!?”

Minseok ran hands though his hair, “This is my fault, I should have watched him – he was right there with me but I just let him slip pass me.”

Sehun sat on the ground and began to go through Yixing’s phone while Luhan comforted Minseok. The only thing Sehun could find slightly important were the millions of missed calls from Woojin until he found a message that made him stand, notifying the others to listen, “Answer my call if you don’t want a certain Sehun to die” He handed the phone to Luhan who studied the message.

“4:27 am...”

Sehun kicked the gravel, “That dick tricked Yixing! He has him right now and we have no idea where that is.”

“Unless...”

\---

Minseok didn’t even let the poor boy that looked like he just woke up question their surprised arrival to his apartment, “Guys this is Lee Jinki hyung – Jinki, this is Sehun-ah and Luhan.” The boys exchanged quick bows before entering, “I’m sorry to just barge in on you like this but it’s important,” Minseok pulled out Yixing’s phone and handed it to a yawning Jinki, “Our friend may have been taken... is there any way you can trace where this message was sent from?”

Jinki raised his eyebrows, “Taken?” He brought the mobile to his desk and plugged it into his computer, “I will try my best.”

Twenty minutes had passed now and the boys were becoming anxious. The other two had moved to the kitchen, Minseok promising a good coffee for the tired Jinki. Sehun tapped his foot unconsciously against the floor. Jinki was trying very hard and he was grateful but it still wouldn’t stop his nerves, time kept ticking and it was eating him alive.  
Jinki made a surprised yelp the caught Sehun off guard, “What?”

“Got it!”

Sehun jumped up from the chair and basically bolted to the printer that was printing out the address, “A-are you sure this is the address?”

“Positive, unless they have moved since then,”

It would have to do

He grabbed the paper and hugged the boy he barely knew, “Thank you!” Discarding his bag he made for the door.

“No problem – hey – aren’t you going to wait for Minseok and Luhan?”

Sehun didn’t listen; instead he ran for the streets and hailed a taxi. The others could catch up, he couldn’t wait around, he needed to get there fast.

Sehun thanked the driver upon arrival and checked the time, he cursed under his breath. Although the driver had obediently listened to Sehun’s frantic yell of drive faster, fifteen minutes still had passed. The address was a building, looked to have been abandoned for a long time due to its poor structure and graffiti covered walls. He reached the broken doors and walked cautiously inside, realising he had no idea what he would do if they happened to be here.

His phone going off made him jump out of his skin in the recent silence of the room, checking the caller to be Luhan, “What?” He hissed into the line, hoping the sound of his ringtone wouldn’t have been heard if anyone was here.

“What the hell! Why did you just run off?”

“I have to know he is okay.”

“And we don’t? Sehun it could be dangerous by yourself!”

“Y-yeah...” Sehun’s voice trailed off on the word as when he approached the next room he could hear voices becoming louder.

“Sehun, hello?”

“I have to go,” He hung up on an arguing Luhan and slowed his steps behind the entrance of the room where he could now see two men, a boy tied to a chair and another two guys behind. Boy on the chair, Sehun did a double take and it made his breath hitch, it was Yixing. He looked disorientated, blood dripping down the left side of his cheek, tears forming in the lids of his eyes.

Sehun turned his direction back to the room he was in, taking in his surroundings. There were wood pieces everywhere, maybe he could hit them over the head... no there were too many and only one of him. Sehun threw his head back in distress, maybe eventually they would leave and there would only be one guy. Yeah that could work – Sehun’s head jolted back in the direction of the scene when a gun being clipped was heard and he had to hold himself up against the wall when he could see it was pointed at Yixing.

“Is this entertaining for you? Huh? Tell me where my money is or I will shoot your son.” Sehun blinked, the other man was Yixing’s father.

“Go ahead.”

Did he just –

Then the man was smiling and Sehun wanted to do anything just to see it disappear, “I’m glad to see my son has grown up well... letting men fuck him.” Oh Sehun was furious now, “Should I be proud?” Yixing’s sob echoed through the room and Sehun just wanted to hold him, “Shoot him, I don’t care, he is more pathetic than the day I left him.” Sehun bit the inside of his cheek when the other guy turned his attention back to Yixing and raised the gun to his head height. Sehun’s mind was screaming at him, He is going to die! You’re going to watch Yixing die! Sehun took a deep breath and his feet moved on their own accord, running into the middle of the scene, everything seeming to move in slow motion as the deafening sound of the trigger was pulled.

\---

Yixing stared past the gun and at his father, in that moment he didn’t care; he wasn’t scared about getting shot. If it meant ending the pain from his father’s words and not to see the smile that was still plastered over his disgusting face than he would take death as a blessing.

Although he still flinched when the gun was shot, the chair almost falling backwards when he turned his head away, his eyes squeezed shut but he didn’t feel anything except for the mumbles of confusion from the men around him. “Where did he come from?”

Yixing opened his eyes, slowly coming into focus on legs lying by the stools of the chair. He zoned out the voices as his eyes trailed up the awfully familiar body until he reached his chest, where blood was soaking the front making Yixing’s stomach lurch but that wasn’t as hard as looking at this persons face “...S-Sehun SEHUN!”

“Look you shot his boyfriend,”

“WHAT DID Y-YOU DO.. wha...” Yixing couldn’t breathe, dry sobs continuously leaving his shaky body. He pulled at the rope tied around his wrists and his ankles, trying to break free, “I- I n-need ... to – to... Sehun.. pl-please d-don’t be...”

He couldn’t fathom who cut the rope free, his body only diving over Sehun’s when he could move. Yixing wrapped his arms around the boy’s torso in an attempt to stop the blood from leaving his body as he buried his face in the nook of Sehun’s neck, “P-please.. Seh-Sehun, please.”

\---

Yixing sat with his legs curled up against his chest and stared at Sehun’s still body that was only lit by the dim lamp in the cold room. It had been four weeks since the accident. Yixing didn’t know what happened to Woojin or his father, he was sure he had been told more than once but he couldn’t hear them, his mind zoning out every word spoken to him. Sehun had taken the bullet for him, straight in the chest and now he was soon yet to waken. Yixing spent day and night at the hospital, sitting in the chair in the corner of the room just staring at the younger. He refused to go home, to eat, to sleep, to shower, he refused anyone’s advice or comfort. Yixing only blamed himself. He should be the one in the hospital bed, he should be the one suffering for his own sake... in his father’s words; he was pathetic after all. Yixing banged his head against the wall as he let the tears fall from his sore eyes, they never stopped. “Please... wake up.”


	12. Time

The passing days had become something of torture. Night’s were spent in the hospital, Minseok always accompanying Luhan, promising to never leave his side, especially during times like this. It was heartbreaking to see the usually bubbly Luhan fall apart, and it only got worse when Yixing began to ignore everyone and everything. Minseok didn’t know Sehun well but it still hurt, of course it did. He would watch Sehun’s friends and his family visit, all silent and teary eyed. You really didn’t know how much you meant to someone until you were on the blink of death. It was upsetting.

Minseok bit his lip in thought as he watched Luhan for the millionth time to try and get Yixing’s attention. He had tried not to think about his family problems during Sehun’s state as he thought it could be rude but being in the same hospital as his mother almost every day wouldn’t stop his worried mind. He was running out of time and now that he had stopped working at the club there was no way of getting money. Visiting his mum’s room only made him realise how sick she was getting. Minseok ran his fingers through his hair. He needed the money for the treatment by the end of the month or she wouldn’t make it.

“What the hell! What is this!?”

Minseok jumped out of his thoughts at Luhan’s yell, and with a quick glance into Yixing’s bag he didn’t have to ask what the boy was enraged about.

“Look at this!” Luhan tipped the backpack upside down, bags of various pills and already rolled joints of marijuana falling to the ground, “What the hell!” Luhan repeated before turning his gaze to Minseok, “Oh, you don’t look surprised.”

Minseok groaned, “Luhan...”

“Since when has he been taking all of this stuff?”

Minseok kneeled down and began collecting the drugs from the floor, “Since this shit first started,” He placed the bags back into the backpack, “It helps him –“ He noticed the disapproving look from Luhan and added, “it helps him in a way...” He stood and took Luhan’s hand in his, “Look, even I would take this kind of stuff now and then, to help forget.” He rubbed his thumb slowly across the boys wrist, “and Yixing-ah needs anything more than to forget – you never saw how wrecked he was after... god, he looked so tiny, so vulnerable.”

"You...?" Luhan closed his eyes, “I don’t even want to imagine it,” He opened his eyes and looked at Yixing who now had his head resting against the wall, his eyes open but distant, “Everything will get better...” Luhan mumbled more to himself.

Minseok swallowed and nodded, really hoping it would. He also looked at Yixing, a memory coming back to him of a particular night on his apartment’s rooftop, him being twenty at the time, Yixing being nineteen. It had been a night after a hard evening at the club. It was a memory Minseok wouldn’t forget because it was the first time he had seen Yixing smile, a real smile.

***

Minseok shifted, turning his eyes from the sky and towards Yixing. He could see the stars shining in the youngers eyes as the high began to indulge his body, the way his shoulders visibly loosened and his body relaxed. Minseok watched Yixing take another long puff from the joint between his index finger and his thumb before he broke the comforting silence, “Yixing-ah... what do you want to do when you get out of here?”

Yixing inhaled, waiting a few beats before he exhaled, the smoke slowly leaving his mouth and disappearing into the cool night air. “I want to write music; play music – like what I do in my spare time – but I want to sell it... I want to play for people... I want to dance for people,”  
Minseok lips turned into a small smile, “Like an idol?”

Yixing nodded, “Like an idol.” Minseok then accepted the joint being passed to him, breathing in the smoky taste of the drug. “I want to... I want to see my parents.” Minseok choked mid exhale, waving the smoke out of his face.

“But they... I mean what they did to you, how could you want –“

“I know,” Yixing interrupted. He fumbled with the hem of his sweater, “I know...” The older watched him breath in a shaky breath before releasing it with a sigh, “I still think there must be a reason as to why –“

“Yixing –“

“No I do, I won’t give up on them.” He frowned, “Even when I get angry at them or... or feel I should stop believing, I won’t.”

Minseok sighed and placed the joint to his lips again, this time not choking. Ever since Yixing had opened up about what his parents had done, how they had just left him alone in the city, a boy of fifteen. It had infuriated him. And yet this boy still wouldn’t give up, annoying as it was Minseok was quite impressed with his insistence.

“And I want to see my friends.”

Yixing broke his thoughts and when Minseok looked to him, the smoke wasn’t caused for his choking this time. Yixing was smiling and it was beautiful. That’s when he remembered Yixing telling him that smiling was something rare for him but it being rare was just what made it perfect now, he was happy. “They must be good friends.”  
Yixing hummed in agreement, “They are.”

“Then I’d like to give them the biggest hug for bringing that smile to your face.” This only made Yixing’s smile widen, the indent on his right cheek deepening.  
“You have made me smile,”

Minseok made an ‘ahhh’ sound, shaking his head disapprovingly, “When? I’ve never seen you smile like that.”

Yixing began to laugh and again, it was beautiful. “I just don’t let you see.”

Minseok passed the joint back to the laughing boy and lay down on the cold cement, “Let me see it more okay.”

***

Luhan gave a small smile and pulled his hand from Minseok’s as he tried to get Yixing’s attention again by waving his hand in front of his face, only to receive a hum. “What else is there that I don’t know about?”

“Yixing was – is my best friend but now I know hardly anything about him...” Luhan breathed out through his nose when Yixing wouldn’t acknowledge his attention, instead he grabbed his wrists and began waving his arms around; earning a raised eyebrow from Minseok.

“What are you doing?”

“I’m trying to snap him out of it,” Luhan began repeating Yixing’s name, over and over until he felt Minseok reach from behind his back, placing his hands over Luhan’s.

“It won’t help, not when he is like this,” He gently unclasped Luhan’s hands from Yixing’s wrists, pulling them away, “It will be temporal, you just have to –“ Minseok was cut off by Luhan pulling his hands harshly from him. “What are you...” Confusion was replaced with realisation when Luhan tugged at Yixing’s left sleeve, revealing small swollen cuts down his arm. Minseok frowned; Yixing had never cut his arms.

“You knew about this didn’t you?” Minseok still staring at his arm startled when Luhan pushed at his shoulders, “Listen to me! W-why don’t you tell me... why didn’t Yixing tell me!” Minseok reached out to Luhan only to be pushed away again.

“Luhan... I know what you must feel now –“

“Like hell you do!” Tears began to stream down Luhan’s face, making him look younger than he was, “Both of my f-friends... Yixing isn’t eating, isn’t sleeping and what.. now I find out he is harming himself... and.. and Sehun,” He walked over to where Sehun was laying, the beeping of the machines becoming louder, “Sehun could die.” Minseok and Luhan both jumped when Yixing shot up from his seat and rounded on Luhan, his finger pointed at him.

“Don’t you dare say he will die! Don’t you dare! D-Don’t you...” Yixing paused, wavering side to side as he tried to control his breathing.

“Yixing...”

“Don’t you dare!” He pushed past Minseok and leaned his hands against the bedside table.

“Yixing, you wouldn’t be feeling like this if you got some sleep...” Yixing seethed, a sudden anger raging though his body, he grabbed the nearby lamp, ripping it out from its plug and throwing it across the room, it hitting the wall with a loud thump and crash. Next he threw his hands on the desk, pushing everything off and to the ground. Minseok and Luhan grabbed Yixing from behind before he had got to throw the chair, “Calm down, okay.” But then he was screaming, his shoes thrashing against the tiled floor as he tried to pull away.

“Let go of me! LET GO!”

“Yixing –“

“I don’t want to be anyone’s toy anymore! I d-don’t want... please don’t do this to me.” Shocked, at those words they immediately let go of Yixing; who fell to his knees and buried his head in his hands, loud cries filling the room, “I-I’ll do anyt-thing to make it stop... please make it stop.”

The last month had been hell but to Minseok, this was what tore him apart.

\---

Luhan ruffled his hair and padded out of the kitchen with a glass of water in his hand. He couldn’t sleep, especially after today. His eyebrows furrowed, remembering Yixing’s breakdown in the hospital room. The things he had found out; the cutting, the drugs... all of the fears that spilled from Yixing’s mouth. Luhan wouldn’t even be able to understand the trauma he must have gone through. Fortunately he was able to convince Yixing to come to his apartment, not without a few arguments.

With a quick glance of Yixing’s [hopefully] sleeping figure on the sofa he made his way back through the hall, passing his bedroom, he made his way to the spare room where Minseok would be. Minseok promised not to leave his side; he had been true to his words. Luhan took a sip from the water and placed it on the table before he quietly slipped under the covers, draping an arm over Minseok’s side who voluntarily turned his body towards him, snuggling closer to the smaller boy.

“I’m sorry for yelling at you today... I’m just worried –“

Luhan paused when Minseok’s finger was placed on his lips, “Don’t be, I understand.” He kissed Luhan’s forehead gently making him scrunch up his face and burry his head in Minseok’s chest. He chuckled and kissed the boys head this time earning a muffled laugh; exactly what he wanted to hear. “I will tell you everything about Yixing-ah.”

\--

Yixing smiled politely to the nurse that passed him when entering Sehun’s room. He sighed, Sehun hadn’t moved; though what was he expecting. Yixing played with his too long sweater sleeves as he approached the bed. “I got sleep... well some and Jongin said your history lecturer is letting you take the exam again too... When she found out what had happened. So that’s good right, that means you can’t die.” Yixing bit his bottom lip. Nurses had told him that talking to Sehun would help with his progress but it had been six weeks now and Yixing was losing hope.

Yixing wrapped his arms around Sehun’s middle and rested his head against the youngers heart. He blinked a few times to stop the tears from falling. “My... my grandmother would say that my hugs could heal people.” He placed his hand in Sehun’s and squeezed it; he waited. “T-then why won’t it work” He didn’t stop the tears this time, allowing them to fall and soak into Sehun’s hospital clothes. Yixing cried harder when he felt the boys hand wrap around his, squeezing lightly.

It took him a moment to realise... Sehun just moved his hand.

Yixing looked to his face; although still seeming to be in a deep slumber. He looked to their clasped hands and a breathy laugh escaped his lips. The hope that had once faded re-sparked in his stomach. Maybe his grandmother was right.


	13. I'm Okay

Yixing could feel hands grip his wrists tightly, so tight that he was turned over onto his back by a simple pull from the other. He closed his eyes when the man’s fingers traced over his jaw and down to his torso. Fingers held onto his hips, nails then digging into his skin as Yixing’s legs were being lifted over the man’s shoulders. He had to bite back a groan of disgust when he next felt the man’s dick encircle his entrance, soon after being shoved harshly inside. Yixing did let out that groan this time as the man found his hips again, his nails digging in harder.

“Yeah –“ The man moaned, “You like that don’t you?”

‘No’, is what Yixing wanted to say, ‘no, no, no’. Instead he said nothing, the man obviously not caring as he rocked carelessly back and forward, the pace becoming faster, harder – torturingly horrible. Yixing squeezed his eyes shut tighter, he wouldn’t cry, he couldn’t let these men see him cry. One last thrust from the man and a series of tangled words escaping his lips was when he finally pushed out. Yixing sighed, glad it was over, wanting to just go back home and what... let the events probe at his mind? He sighed again but before he could get excited about his ‘eventful’ evening the man was grabbing at him again, “Round two.” Yixing let out a disgruntled groan.

Yixing woke with a start, his breath coming out in chokes. He panicked when an arm draped over his back but relaxed when he remembered where he was. Still lying uncomfortably over Sehun’s middle but he silently agreed that he would take this uncomfortable position than the one in his dream – nightmare, he corrected. Yixing sucked in his bottom lip, would the nightmares ever stop. He glanced at the clock on the wall, 8: 15 am, he must have fallen asleep for about five minutes. Funny how dreams that feel like they have been going for over two hours can fit in such a short period.

Yixing buried his head back on Sehun and found comfort by feeling the boy’s chest rise and fall. Sehun hadn’t woken up yet but he was now able to breathe – still with a little help of the machines – and was being responsive to the things around him. Yixing placed his shaking hand over where the youngers wound was. The doctor kept saying how it was a miracle that Sehun was making such recovery, considering the gunshot to his chest was a direct blow. “Someone must be taking care of Mr. Oh.” The doctor had said while looking up to the sky. Whatever it was, Yixing would like to thank them with all his heart.

He only pulled away from Sehun when he heard footsteps approaching. The steps being what Yixing had presumed was Sehun’s mother, considering her frequent visits. Yixing bowed to her and made to leave, only to be stopped by his name being called.

“Are you Yixing?”

Yixing turned to the women and nodded, mumbling a quiet yes. He was about to apologise if it had made him sound rude but the lady smiled warmly at him. “I thought it might have been you. I’m sorry I never introduced myself earlier as it was,” she glanced at Sehun, “a hard time for me, as it must be for you too.” She returned her gaze at Yixing, “I’m Sehun’s mother.”

Yixing bowed again, allowing himself to smile at her, “Nice to meet you ajumma.” The lady giggled, her eyes turning into small crescents. Like Sehun’s, Yixing thought.  
“Sehun was right, you are very kind.” Yixing felt his cheeks heat up. Sehun had told his mother about him. “I notice you here a lot; it is true you are close to my Sehunnie?” Yixing didn’t know how to answer that without smiling widely.

“We are close.”

“Sehun has told me many good things about you,” The woman shook her head whilst laughing; “I think he really likes you.”

Yixing chuckled, “I think I really like him too.” He startled, realising he had just said that out loud and to none other than Sehun’s mother. “I- I mean...” Yixing closed his eyes briefly before opening them, bowing again he quickly said, “It was nice to meet you.” Yixing breathed out in distress also realising he had already said that earlier. He rushed out of the room with his heart beating fast, leaving behind Sehun’s giggling mother.

\---

Luhan smiled politely to the customers who he had finished serving, waiting till they were out of earshot before letting out an exaggerated sigh and flopping himself over the front counter. He spotted Minseok a few steps away cleaning some tables and he let out a louder sigh. With great triumph Minseok looked to him with a raised eyebrow. “Minseok!” He all but whined, “I’m tired.” Luhan pouted when Minseok tsked.

Luhan had found out about Minseok’s mothers condition in the hospital and the money situation. Luhan had wanted to help in any way possible; luckily he is friends with the boss of the cafe. He was able to convince Junmyeon in letting Minseok work shifts along with himself, also mentioning if Yixing could do the same. He had agreed to both; Luhan had hugged the breath out of Junmyeon.

“Hi tired, I’m Minseok.”

Luhan scrunched up his face, “Don’t do dad jokes with me.” Minseok grinned.

“Ah,” Luhan stood upon seeing Yixing arrive, “Have you been at the hospital all this time?” The younger hummed and sat at the front counter stool. “Oh! Yixing, Junmyeon-ah said you can work here, I got Minseok a job too.”

Luhan jumped when Minseok came out of nowhere, placing a kiss on his cheek, “he is my hero.” He laughed when Luhan slapped his arm, “You should take it Yixing.”  
“Is it enough hyung... for your mum’s surgery?”

Minseok bit his lip, “It’s a start.”

\---

Yixing took the job; working double shifts to help Minseok with money.

“You need sleep.” Luhan whispered in Yixing’s ear who was supposed to be serving a customer but had spaced out again for the millionth time. He jumped and spoke a quiet apology to the waiting customer.

It was only day three of working in the cafe but it felt like three weeks; working all day really took its toll. Yixing forced a smile as the customer said their thank you and left. He puffed out his cheeks when glancing at the clock on the wall; luckily it was almost closing time.

“Just leave now Xing, I can finish up,” Luhan said whilst expertly holding a pile of stacked plates in one hand, “If you leave early it will mean more time for you to sleep,” The older stared knowingly at Yixing, “and that’s me hinting that you should sleep.”

Yixing let out a yawn in that exact moment, “I know Lu-Ge... you keep telling me.”

“You know why I do and oh,” Luhan disappeared into the kitchen returning with two plastic bags in his hand, “food,” he shoved the bags in Yixing’s face who stared at them with displeasure, “when was the last time you ate?”

Yixing shrugged, “Two bags?” He opened the bags to see the cafe’s leftover food, the sight of the food causing bile to rise in his throat, “I feel sick looking at it.”

He heard his friend tsk, “And that’s because you haven’t eaten in ages, all you do is smoke that weed –“ Luhan’s voice trailed off on the last word, as if it were a sensitive topic.

“Yeah, well...” Yixing closed the bags and clenched the handles tightly in his hand, “I will try to eat them,” He watched Luhan’s eyebrows knit together and mouth turn into a frown making Yixing sigh, “I promise.” He added, “Stop wrinkling your face up Lu, you will age quicker.”

The older’s face contorted in a shocked expression, “Hey! You’re the one making me age quicker,” Luhan raised his arm, ready to playfully push the younger but decided better on it. Instead he brought Yixing into a tight hug. “Look after yourself please.”

Yixing’s breath hitched at the surprise affection, it’s only Luhan, it’s only Luhan. When he was able to convince his mind that he was safe, he let himself relax in his friends embrace. “I want to.”

\---

When Yixing arrived at Sehun’s room he was greeted by a tired Jongin and Kyungsoo who were both seated together on the chair against the wall. Yixing gave a small smile in return and sat on the chair beside the bed, closing his eyes momentarily. “How is he?”

“Improving faster now,” Yixing could hear the smile in Jongin’s words. “He mumbled a few words today.”

Yixing opened his eyes when the sound of footsteps were heard, only to wish he hadn’t when his eyes fell on the nurse approaching them. This particular nurse had set his nerves on end since their first meet. Yixing thought he was just being paranoid at first but he knew he mustn’t be crazy when overtime the nurse’s stares would linger on him and it was never on his face.

“Back again?” Yixing hummed and averted his gaze to Sehun. The room went quiet as the nurse checked the machines, taking way too long on the one behind Yixing.  
“How long do you think before he wakes now?”

Yixing let out a shaky breath when the nurse moved from behind him and turned his head towards the other two boys. He silently thanked Kyungsoo for the distraction as he clumsily pushed out of the chair and escaped the room that seemed to have been getting smaller every passing minute.

He leaned his head back against the wall and tried to control his breathing. The panic attacks were becoming something of familiarity, some being worse than others. You’re overreacting. The nurse was probably not even looking at you in that way. You just think he is. Although these thoughts didn’t stop the uneasy feeling in his stomach.

“You got a problem?” Yixing all but jumped out of his skin at the voice. What perfect timing. He lowered his head slowly to see his mother standing with her arms crossed, except she wasn’t looking at him. Yixing jumped for the second time when he followed her eyesight to find that awful nurse standing opposite him. He grasped the rail along the wall and turned away from them both.

“Do you?”

“Yes, you are staring at my son as if he is a piece of meat.” Yixing scoffed at this. More than anything he hated when he had to be in the presence of his parents. There was a pause before footsteps descended down the hall. Yixing opened his mouth to thank his mother but stopped himself.

“Your father wanted me to give this to you.” Yixing eyed the thick envelope being handed to him and slowly took it from his mother’s hand. With caution, he opened it, his eyes immediately going wide at what he saw. “I put more in there... it should be enough.” Inside was money, and with a quick flick through the bills, it was certain to say there was definitely more than enough.

“But... why?” Yixing waited for an answer but nothing came, “I can’t take this.”

She refused the letter being handed back to her, “Just do something for yourself. Get out of Seoul, buy a house,” Yixing sucked in his bottom lip when she placed her hand on his shoulder, “Do that silly idol dream of yours.”

“Why...” Yixing cursed his voice for cracking, “w-why now, you don’t even care about me, you and d-dad. I was a mistake right?” He felt the tears fall but didn’t bother to wipe them away, “You both left me when I was only fifteen. My life has been hell ever since and – and now you give me money? You know what –“ Yixing took his mothers wrist and placed the envelope in her hand, “Keep it, I don’t want your money.”

He turned to leave but froze at her next words, “You’re still my son – we are still your parents – even if we treated you like this; you don’t have the right to do the same.”  
Yixing bit down on his lip, what was he expecting.

\---

It was late in the night and two joints of weed later when Sehun’s eyes had fluttered open. Yixing had his legs crossed on the chair, picking at a piece of bread that he attempted to eat in little bits and Jongin had fallen asleep on Kyungsoo’s shoulder. The first groan was soft and Yixing thinking it was Jongin in his sleep, glanced at him from the corner of his eye before putting all of his focus back on the bread. The second groan was louder and the bed shifted. He watched Kyungsoo jump from his seat, causing Jongin to wake. Yixing was slow, his body still intoxicated with marijuana but when he did notice the chaos around him he made an “OOH” sound. Not caring for the bread anymore, he dropped it and watched as the nurses crowded Sehun’s bed.

When Sehun woke again he was loopy from the medication given for the pain. Barely making any sense and unable to tell what was happening around him. The second time he woke he was half asleep and still quite out of it but he smiled at all of his friends and family who had arrived since his first wake. Sehun closed his eyes and before he drifted off again he found a familiar warm hand and squeezed it with all his energy. He whispered a raspy, “I’m okay.”

Yixing smiled and felt his tears slide down his cheeks. He was okay too.


	14. Troublesome Mind

Sehun groaned mid breath. The doctor had him take lessons in practicing breathing without the ventilator support and it was a bitch, and that was putting it nicely. “You’re getting better, but I’d advise you that the swearing isn’t going to make the progress faster,” The doctor smiled whilst he began attaching a nasal cannula to him and to a CPAP machine.

Sehun smiled sheepishly, “Sorry but it’s a start.”

The doctor laughed, “I’ve changed you to a nasal cannula which will be a lot easier for you. You will be able to move more freely and be able to walk around. Which mind you, will also be difficult at first.”

Once the doctor left Sehun frowned, his attention now focusing on the frame lying across the chair at the back wall. Yixing looked terrible and when Sehun found out he had been in a coma for longer than seven weeks he hated to think what could have happened during that time.

“Yixing,” He saw the boys eyes shut tighter, “hyung I know you’re not sleeping.” The older sat from his lying position and stretched his arms high above his head, a smile forming on his tired features. Sehun didn’t like it because the smile was forced, he knew that. “Come here.”

Yixing did as told, sliding his hands under the sleeves of his huge sweater as he slowly made his way to the side of the bed. Sehun frowned, “It’s getting warmer, why are you wearing such a thing,” He grabbed the sleeves in an attempt to pull them up but Yixing pulled away.

“I’m cold.”

Sehun’s frown deepened; ever since he had properly awoken Yixing had shown no signs of interest, “Are you not happy that I’m awake?” Sehun meant it in a teasing way but he wished to take it back when the olders eyebrows furrowed and he bit his bottom lip to try and stop it from trembling.

“O-of course I’m happy, why would you ask...” Yixing covered his eyes with his sleeve when his tears began to fall, “I m-missed you so mu-much. Why did you do that? F-for me... why would you take a bullet for me”

Sehun rubbed his hand up and down Yixing’s side and with a small smile he whispered, “It was worth it.”

The older shook his head, “I’m not worth it.”

“Yes you are!” Sehun retrieved his hand and with difficulty but success he moved his body to one side of the bed, patting the space beside him, “Lie down you silly thing.” When Yixing did this, the younger draped his arm over his middle but surprised him when the boy literally squirmed out of his hold and fell to the floor.

\---

Yixing walked quickly down the hospital halls with his palms clasped together, they wouldn’t stop shaking. This wasn’t supposed to happen; he was hoping this wouldn’t happen. Yixing had always had a problem with people touching him, ever since his first encounter in the club. Yixing quickened his pace when he spotted the bathroom signs. The problem had become worse however when he stopped working at the club. It was as if his brain wouldn’t allow him to have his happy moments, instead replacing them with the horrors.

Yixing pushed the bathroom door open and leaned against the sink and tried to breath but it was more like he was heaving. It felt like the oxygen had been sucked out of the room and he was trying to breath in the last remaining air. You can do this – no you can’t – shut up – you can, just breathe – I can’t breathe. Yixing turned the tap on and splashed the water on his face. It was pointless. He turned the tap off with a groan and pushed himself off the basin. He swayed a bit as he tried to catch his balance, during the process he caught his reflection in the blurry mirror – or that could be his vision, he wasn’t sure – he scowled at himself. Look at you. His eyes looked as if they had sunken from the dark circles of no sleep, his cheeks had become hollow and his skin looked pale. Not wanting to see himself any longer, Yixing fell to the floor and let the all too familiar sobs wrack his body.

\---

When Luhan arrived with Minseok at Sehun’s room, the younger looked to be struggling as he tried to get out of the bed. “What the hell are you doing?” Luhan grabbed the boy’s shoulders to help hold him up.

“Hyung, I need to get to Yixing. He’s not okay, I don’t know where he went, you have to help me –“

“Okay okay, it’s going to be okay,” Luhan turned wide eyes to Minseok who was already halfway out the door, “We will find him... did you try his mobile?”

Minseok’s heart quickened as everywhere he looked he couldn’t find Yixing. He was thinking the worst possible outcomes that when he turned the corner he didn’t pay attention; his body coming into contact with another. Minseok was able to stop the person from falling with one arm, “Sorry,” He quickly glanced at the person to make sure they were okay before sprinting down the hallway again but stopping when his brain registered the others face. “Yixing...” He returned to the boy he had crashed into – Yes it was Yixing – He hadn’t gotten far, the younger was dragging his feet with his head hung low. “Yixing, are you all right?” The older turned Yixing around but let go when he flinched, “Sorry –“

“I’m fine.” He watched Yixing’s chest rise in a deep breath before he looked up and let it out, “I just had to go to the bathroom.” The younger smiled but it faltered, “Did you think something was wrong? Let’s get back to the others before they think the same.”

Minseok stared at Yixing’s back as he walked back in the direction of Sehun’s room. He had seen his tear stained face and red eyes. You’re not fine.

\---

“What are you doing!?” Were the first things that left Yixing’s mouth upon walking into the bathroom. There Luhan and Sehun stood by the toilet with Yixing’s bag of pills turned upside down. He watched in shock as the remaining drugs fell into the toilet bowl. “Y-You can’t.” He made for the toilet but was stopped by Yifan, apparently appearing out of nowhere. Yixing’s heart hammered in his chest, “d-don’t touch me – what are you... what are you d-doing! Don’t flush that toilet –“ Too late. The sound of the water being flushed was heard and Yixing let out a groan.

“They weren’t helping you Yixing, I think they were making you worse.”

Yixing tried to pull out of Yifan’s grip but it was useless in his weak state, “Y-you don’t understand – no – I need them!”

Sehun had been dismissed from the hospital for almost four weeks now. He was able to breathe on his own and only needed to take pain killers every morning for the next few months. He couldn’t decide which was worse, being shot in the chest or having to watch Yixing slowly fall apart every passing day. As the days did pass though, he was starting to think that the latter was the answer. He had found out about the bag of drugs from Luhan. He had been worried the time when Yixing had overdosed on pills but he never knew it was something so extreme to the fact that he had a stash of all kinds of drugs hidden somewhere. But when he found out about the cuts on Yixing’s arms, he was sick to his stomach.

It had been late at night when Sehun and Yixing were watching a movie. Yixing had ended up falling asleep and when he had shifted the sleeve of his sweater had rose. He then found out about the cuts on his thighs by Minseok. Yixing had looked so small and broken when Sehun carefully mentioned the topic – the conversation didn’t end well; concluding in a loud argument. It had to stop, Yixing was killing himself. So now he stood in the bathroom with Luhan, mouth hanging agape at being caught flushing the pills down the toilet.

“LOOK AT YOURSELF!” They all startled at Luhan’s outburst, “You...” Luhan swallowed and gave an apologetic look at Yixing. “We will help you through this, only a couple of weeks and you won’t feel the need for drugs –“

Yixing choked out a pained laugh. “Can you erase my mind too?”

Sehun hated how soft those words were spoken; he hated how Yixing’s voice wavered. “We’re going to do all we can.”

\---

When Minseok returned home the next day it was to find that his bank account had been doubled by the help of his friends, including his new ones. Instead of getting mad at them he finally accepted their offerings; immediately handing in the money to the hospital. He was worried of course. There was still a chance that his mother could pass away during the surgery but having Luhan by his side throughout the wait subsided that worry. He could only hope now.

Yixing wanted to be with Minseok too but the boys panic attacks happened more frequently without the use of a distraction. He had continued to cut his arms which resulted in having to hide away any sharp objects. However, he had started to use his fingernails to dig into the flesh on the wounds which wasn’t really stoppable. Although Sehun kept saying he would make Yixing wear gloves every day and night.

“Here comes the airplane.”

Sehun held back a laugh at Yixing’s annoyed expression. The only way to get Yixing to eat was to feed him, literally. Sehun actually enjoyed it; he would tease the older with baby gestures until he would snatch the utensil from him and eat himself. It was his little trick.

“If you don’t stop...”

Sehun began to make the airplane noises whilst flying the spoon towards Yixing’s mouth. Yixing, with his still annoyed expression intact, grabbed a spoon from the table and quickly shoved it into the porridge and brought his spoon into contact with Sehun’s, making it flip back out of his hand. The food going over his face.

“Hey!”

Yixing’s mouth slowly turned up into a smug smile, “Oh no, they crashed... it’s all over you.” He was laughing then, “I’m sorry.” The porridge on his face didn’t matter because Yixing was laughing and god it had been a while. Sehun smiled.

\---

Yixing waited by his phone, it was almost 3 am but he needed to know if Minseok’s mother was okay. When his mobile did ring he sent a quiet prayer, hoping it was good news.

“Hyung...”

“She’s okay, she made it.” He could hear the relief in his friend’s voice and Yixing smiled.

“I’m glad, get some rest when you can and Luhan too.”

“We will. You do the same.” Yixing nodded, even though he knew Minseok couldn’t see.

When they ended the call he watched Sehun’s sleeping form for a while. Yixing hadn’t returned to his apartment since Woojin found out where he stayed; although he felt like a burden, he stayed at his friends apartments. Woojin... he also never asked what had happened to that man; a part of him didn’t want to know. He didn’t want anything to do with him again.

Yixing got up from the fold out bed and went to Sehun’s; sitting cross legged on the space beside him. He had wanted so badly to just be able to fall asleep in the youngers arms for a while but he was still worried. Yixing swallowed and lay down beside Sehun with a safe distance between them. He gently ran the tips of his fingers down the youngers arm and stopped at his wrist. He took a deep breath in and clasped his hand in Sehun’s. When he felt Sehun’s fingers wrap around his own he breathed out. This wasn’t so bad.

\---

Sehun breathed in through his nose, enjoying the smell that had become familiar to him but it was stronger this time. The smell of fresh, clean laundry with a hint of cinnamon (and a tiny bit of weed but he didn’t mind). Sehun smiled, he loved the smell of Yixing. He snuggled closer to the body beneath him; letting the warm smell drift him back to sleep when he froze. Why was Yixing underneath him.

Sehun panicked; he opened his eyes and pulled himself off of the older; now hovering over Yixing. He was still asleep. He looked peaceful – gorgeous – Sehun thought as he took in every detail of his face. He bit his tongue; he wanted to run his fingers over Yixing’s perfectly structured face. He couldn’t... maybe a little touch, he won’t notice. The minute his hand touched the olders cheek Yixing woke but Sehun didn’t have time to feel bad when he noticed how hot the boys skin was.

“W-what are you –“ The older’s breath quickened.

“Yixing,” Sehun gently rubbed his thumb against his cheek, “It’s me; it’s Sehun – Yixing – look at me.” Yixing had his eyes shut tightly. Sehun could see that he was trying to fight it, “Yixing, it’s okay. I’m not going to hurt you... open your eyes for me.” The older did, his eyes filled with unshed tears.

“Sehun...”

The younger smiled and wiped the tear that fell down his cheek, “It’s me.” Sehun watched Yixing as he slowly began to relax. He waited until the boys breathing had evened out before he spoke again. “You’re heating up,” He looked down and of course, Yixing was wearing a thick sweater and sweatpants. Something that was way too warm to be wearing as the weather changed. “You have to get out of your clothes.”

Yixing’s eyes widened as he gasped, “w-what –“

“No I don’t mean...” Sehun sighed, “Your body is heating up. You need to get out of your clothes.” He took Yixing’s hand and brought him to the bathroom, “Have a bath to cool down your body.” Sehun turned on the water and added bubble product to the tub. He tested the temperature until it was neither too warm nor too cold.

“I’m fine, really,”

“Stop saying you’re fine when you’re not.” Yixing fiddled with the hem of his sweater, “Let me take care of you.” Sehun neared the other and held the bottom of his shirt, “You trust me, right?”

“I do,” He waited a few minutes in case Yixing wanted to change his mind before he lifted the sweater up and gently over his head. Once the hot material was gone the older hid his arms behind his back.

“Your pants... do you want to –“ He stopped when the boy shook his head.

“Y-you do it... but – there are the cu... t-the, the scars.”

“I know, its okay.” He gave him a reassuring smile and moved his hands to the waistband of the sweatpants, pausing for a second when his cheeks heated up, “You’re umm, wearing underwear right?” Yixing did crack a smile at this.

“Y-you’re feeling shy? I’m the one getting my pants pulled down, by the Sehun himself,” He chuckled when Sehun’s cheeks reddened, “I’m wearing underwear.”  
“By the Sehun himself huh...” He smiled; it was Yixing’s turn to blush.

They kept their eyes on each other when Sehun lowered the pants, eventually letting them fall to his feet. The younger walked backwards so Yixing could step out of the sweatpants but he didn’t stop until his back hit the wall; Sehun admired the view before him. Perfect. He let out a shaky breath, “You’re perfect.”

Yixing moved his hands from behind his back revealing the other scars; he looked down. “R-really?”

“Really,” He moved closer, “I wouldn’t lie to you.” A little closer – But the sound of water alarmed both of them and Yixing irrupted into laughter when Sehun swore and leapt to the overflowing bath tub -bubbles and all-, turning it off with a groan. His annoyment didn’t last long though; Yixing’s laugh was contagious. “Okay... your bath is definitely ready.


	15. The Audition

Yixing watched his body move to the tempo of the music through his reflection in the mirror. The mirror was something he hadn’t wanted to use; not wanting to see his pathetic worn down self. In the beginning he refused to; allowing himself to come up with different choreographies and perfect it without the help of a mirror. He was quite confident with his end result but also still wary; considering the fact that he was going to perform in front of judgers. Yes, he is going to audition for SM Entertainment who will be holding auditions in the next week.

“Next week.” Yixing groaned out loud and scrunched up his nose when he caught his face in the reflection again. “Maybe the company won’t even consider you with how you look.”

“I doubt it,” Yixing stumbled over his steps at the voice, catching Sehun and Jongin walking through the entrance in the mirror. “Stop saying you look horrible, it’s starting to frustrate me.” Yixing groaned again at Sehun’s honesty.

“I think you’re looking better hyung.” Jongin said with a gentle smile. Yixing didn’t disagree. He didn’t look so pale anymore and he had put his weight back on – courtesy to Sehun shoving food in his face at any time he could – and that resulted in his face not to look so swollen and ill sunken. But the dark circles under his eyes hadn’t disappeared due to not being able to sleep and his whole body felt like it was slowly falling to the pits of hell.

“Thanks Jongin-ah.”

Jongin would also be auditioning for dancing in SM. The two had practiced together in the beginning but Jongin did prefer having a mirror.

“You’re dancing too, I’m sure they wouldn’t think twice about having you in their company.” Yixing smiled; Jongin had been praising Yixing ever since he first saw him dance. He was thankful; it definitely reduced the weight on his shoulders.

“You too.” They smiled at each other as Yixing passed him and sat down by Sehun at the far wall. Immediately he reached for his water bottle and nearly drank the whole thing in one go. He noticed Sehun staring at him with his mouth agape and Yixing had to hold back a sigh. To say it simple, Sehun was sexually frustrated. He didn’t even have to mention it for Yixing to know. It was a natural thing, of course, but Yixing felt useless when he couldn’t bring himself to help in some way. Anything sex related made him either want to crawl out of his body or scratch his body until he couldn’t fathom such thoughts due to pain. Sehun never tried anything and Yixing didn’t expect he would. He was a sweetheart after all. Yixing pouted. Although he wouldn’t be lying if he said he had had some sexual thoughts about Sehun lately and to his surprise it didn’t scare him as much; but bringing himself to do it in real life did.

“Imagine Jongin-ah naked right now.” Yixing held back a giggle when Sehun let out a disgusted sound. “I’m only doing what you told me to do.” Which was saying whoever else was in the room to imagine naked to drive Sehun’s sexual thoughts about Yixing away.

“Well it does help.” Yixing nodded and watched Jongin begin to dance; getting lost in his careful but powerful movements until Sehun putting his head on his shoulder broke his gaze. “I’m sorry Yixing... I’m trying not to think that sort of stuff about you. I feel bad about it but know I will never hurt you hyung I promise.” The boy frowned, “I’m not some fuckboy so... so don’t think that!” Yixing made a confused expression before Sehun added, “More so I um... I want to make love to you AND DON’T LAUGH THAT TOOK ALL OF MY COURAGE TO SAY.”

Yixing giggled, “Are you blushing?” He received a groan in reply and that was all he needed to know he was. “You’re cute Sehun.” Yixing smiled slowly and rested his head on Sehun’s. “I actually want that too...” Yixing whispered, “But I-I’m nervous–“

“It’s okay,” Sehun reached for Yixing’s hand hesitantly before the older decided to take the lead, and clasped them together. “I know. We don’t have to rush anything, we can wait okay.”

Yixing rubbed his thumb against Sehun’s hand; an unspoken thank you, “Okay Sehun.“ There was a moment of silence before Yixing frowned, “What is a... an f boy?”  
Sehun laughed. Yixing was still so pure and innocent.

\---

Yixing watched Sehun and Chanyeol (loudly) play Super Smash Bros. with glossy eyes. Somehow a week had passed and tomorrow he would be auditioning for SM. The passing week had been spent mostly in the dance room, practice after practice. Now he didn’t know if his stomach hurt because of achy muscles or because of the nerves that had started to build as the night progressed. He was thankful that his friends had at least let him keep his weed because he didn’t know what else he would be doing during this moment. Jongin wasn’t any better. The boy was sitting at the kitchen table speaking all of his worries about tomorrow to Kyungsoo, who was content to listen.

Yixing took another drag from the joint that was almost at its ending point and sighed. Sleep would definitely be hard to come tonight, isn’t it always? Yixing mused to himself.

“YES! YEESSS! IN YOUR FACE OH SEHUN!” Chanyeol threw the controler in his excited daze, only missing the television by a few inches. “I BEAT YOU AGAIN. SUCK IT.”

Sehun rolled his eyes with a tsk. “I rather not. Go again; I’m not letting you beat me this time.”

Yixing pouted and pushed himself off the sofa. What he wanted was someone to reassure him that everything would be alright; to somewhat encourage him but all day he hadn’t received a single comment of the sort. Yixing found himself on the balcony, not really registering the walk there but the fresh air was welcomed. He leaned himself on the rail and let the night breeze cool his warm body down. The weather was getting warmer everyday and usually Yixing would be wearing something more breathable but due to his cuts on his arms he couldn’t do that, or he didn’t want to. People stared and some even asked why he was wearing long sleeves. Yixing leaned his head on his arm and closed his eyes. It was either get stared at for wearing long sleeves or get stared at for having cuts on his arms, and he preferred the first option.

“You know you shouldn’t lean over the edge like that, you may fall.”

Yixing opened his eyes and raised his head slowly at Yifan’s voice; he sprawled his arms out in front of him over the railing and waved them exaggeratedly, “Let me fall please.”  
Yifan chuckled lightly before pulling the youngers arms back, “you know I wouldn’t let that happen.” He then frowned when Yixing scrunched up his face in what looked to be pain, “are you okay Xing?”

Yixing seemed to snap out of it; taking a deep breath, “Y-yeah... I just think the smoking is giving me a panic attack or something.” Yifan frowned harder.

“You know you shouldn’t be smoking pot,” Yifan scoffed, “I tried to convince Luhan to chuck that too.”

Yixing shook his head, “It usually calms my nerves.” Except it wasn’t, for some reason it was making his heart beat incredibly fast. He closed his eyes again to try and focus on his breathing when he felt Yifan’s hand on his back.

Yifan felt Yixing tense under his palm so he began to rub the boys back soothingly. “You’re just worried. You’re going to do great tomorrow but you should know that already... but you’re not telling yourself that are you?” The older shook his head when Yixing agreed he wasn’t. “Remember when we were kids and Luhan, Tao and I would watch you dance because you were always so excited to show us a new move you had learnt?” He chuckled, “You were a lot more confident then.”

Yixing puffed out his cheeks, he did remember. Back then it seemed so much simpler. Every Friday night he would stay up late in his room and learn a new dance move to show to his friends at school on Monday. He had always wanted to show to his parents but they were never fond of the idea of him dancing. Yixing smiled a little, “I remember... you guys were always so happy for me – but sometimes I thought it may have been annoying for you guys to watch every week.”

“Are you kidding? It was the only thing to look forward to at school.” Yifan laughed but stopped when he remembered. “Then that Monday came where you didn’t come to school. We all thought you had fallen sick but – god – when the school nurse told us you had passed away... we couldn’t believe it. Everything turned bad.”

Yixing frowned, “I missed you guys so much... I guess I should agree my life has improved in some way,” he turned to Yifan with a faint smile, “My friends are back and I’ve made new ones... I’ve left that– that place and I’m about to do what I’ve always wanted.”

Yifan returned the smile. “And you’re going to be excellent. Everything will get better,” He accepted the sudden embrace from Yixing and continued with a sadder tone, “What you’ve been through... those memories, I’m sorry but I’m not sure they will go but there will be good times and then there will be the harder times but then there will be good again.” Yifan held Yixing tighter when he heard him sniff.

“I-I know, I need to accept that... I will, I’m trying.”

“You’re doing good Yixing.”

When Yixing crawled into bed later it was to find Sehun already there curled up under a pile of pillows. Yixing had to dig through the pile before he reached the younger that apparently wasn’t asleep once he was able to reveal his face. Yixing smiled at the boy’s messy hair and sleepy expression. “Hello.”

Sehun yawned, “Hello little bunny.” Yixing’s smile widened, remembering when he found out about that nickname.

“Hello,”

“Hello – why are we saying hello again?” The younger snuffled a laugh when Yixing shrugged his shoulders. “Do you think you will sleep?”

“I may be lucky to get half an hour.” Yixing sighed and joined the other in the bed; he reached for Sehun’s hand and held it tightly.

Sehun squeezed his hand, “try not to think about it too much because you’re going to be perfect, I know you are. One hundred percent positive! Fighting!”

Yixing laughed into the pillow, “Thank you Sehun-ah. I hope so.” Sehun gave a quick kiss to the olders nose, mumbling an apology afterwards for the close contact but Yixing pulled Sehun back by the shirt and kissed his lips briefly. “Thank you – again,” Yixing giggled shyly, “for everything.”

\---

Sehun thanked Luhan when he placed the chocolate milk tea on the table. Junmyeon had just closed the cafe for the day but Sehun was able to convince Luhan to make him bubble tea. Sehun snickered to himself when Zitao gave him a role of his eyes.

“Do you drink anything else?”

“Do you wear anything else?” Sehun spat back because he swears Tao has been wearing the same Gucci jacket everyday for over a month now. Tao just rolled his eyes again and Sehun smiled happily while taking a sip from the sweet drink.

“So did Yixing get any sleep last night?” Luhan called from behind the counter where he was counting the shops money with Junmyeon.

“Not much but he was feeling more confident this morning for some reason, not that I’m complaining.” The boys eyes all widened and Sehun tsked, “No, he didn’t take anything... I um asked him.”

“Yeah but it’s not like he hasn’t lied about that before.”

“Told him that too, he got mad...” Sehun sighed and stared off into the distance, “He is hot when he is mad.”

Tao scoffed, “You’re hornier than a teenage boy.”

Baekhyun laughed out loud and finally joined the conversation, “He is basically still a teenager, little nineteen year old.” He ruffled Sehun’s hair making him scowl.

“They’ll be here soon,” Junmyeon said after glancing at his watch, “The auditions ended about thirty minutes ago.”

Yixing and Jongin did arrive ten minutes later, both with worried expressions. “The most nerve wracking thing I’ve ever done.” Jongin sighed, immediately going to where Kyungsoo was. Yixing on the other hand didn’t say a word; he sat at one of the booths, back against the wall and his legs sprawled out in front of him and pulled a joint and a lighter out of his jeans pocket and lit it, inhaling the smoke into his lungs.

“But do you think you did well?” Luhan asked after glancing worriedly at Yixing.

Jongin sighed again, “I did everything I learned, I was a little shaky but I hope it wasn’t too noticeable. I am kind of confident I did okay.”

“Stop, you were perfect.” Kyungsoo interrupted, hugging Jongin tightly around his middle.

“Yixing?”

They all turned to Yixing who was breathing out the smoke, humming afterwards, “I think I did okay.”

“We will hear from them next week. Either it’s going to be a letter of good news or bad news.”

“Whatever it is, at least you did it, you both auditioned and that’s something in itself to be proud of.” Junmyeon concluded with a smile. “Now come and eat all the leftover food we have here.” They all perked up at the word food, not knowing that Junmyeon had been preparing it all on a table whilst they were talking.

When Sehun noticed Yixing not grabbing anything to eat he brought his food over, offering it to the older who refused it with a shake of his head. Sehun frowned, “You’re not happy with how you did?”

Yixing sucked in his bottom lip, biting it a little too hard. “I don’t know – I think I was okay but I got distracted...”

Sehun lifted Yixing’s legs and sat down, resting them now over his lap, “By what?”

Yixing took another drag from the cigarette before speaking again, “I’m not sure if I was imagining it or not but I saw my mu– my mum,” Sehun made an ‘ah’ sound in which the older continued, “She was watching by the exit.” Yixing breathed out through his nose and laughed, “But maybe I’m just seeing things.”


	16. One1

Yixing sniffled a laugh behind his hand again when Sehun’s face contorted to what would be described as pleasure and let out a small moan in his sleep. It had been twenty minutes now; twenty minutes of watching Sehun enjoy his little dream. Yixing had been annoyed at first to be woken by the younger moaning in his ear because he had just fallen asleep but it was definitely entertaining now because he found out Sehun was dreaming about him; naughty dream, judging by the groans of Yixing’s name leaving his lips.

Yixing raised an eyebrow when Sehun lifted his hips in an attempt for friction with his crotch against the blanket. He didn’t know his dream self had such an effect on the boy. The older bit his bottom lip thinking of all the possible outcomes in this moment. He could either leave Sehun in his dream state or make his dream come to life. It had crossed his mind already; to just reach out and touch the younger but he always retracted his hand. Yixing had never touched someone like that before, let alone himself; he wouldn’t know what he was doing. Although, trying his hardest to block out the random men who had touched him there; he thought back to when Sehun had touched him the morning after Baekhyun’s party. It couldn’t be that hard – Hard. Yixing laughed to himself at his bad pun.

Swallowing, he moved his hand above Sehun’s and closed his eyes before slowly lowering it. His cheeks heated up when he felt the bulge there but then scoffed at how easily Sehun could be turned on; all because of a dream. He moved his palm up the length he could feel, his eyes opening at how big Sehun was. He did the movement again, going down and then up, every time igniting moans from the younger. It wasn’t enough to wake him though so Yixing thought of his second plan. Unconsciously his mind went to blowjob and he gasped at himself for thinking such a thing.

You don’t even know how to give a proper handjob, what makes you think you can give a blowjob... Yixing ignored his questioning though and soon found himself pulling the blanket off of Sehun and face to face with his crotch that was already showing all it had to offer. Yixing pouted his lips as he gently tugged the waistband of the boxers up and over Sehun. Eyes widening for the second time when he saw it, yeah... it was big.

He glanced up at Sehun’s still sleeping features before glaring back at the boys dick as if it were mocking him. Where to start. Yixing stuck his tongue out and licked up the length experimentally only to pull back to bury his face in the mattress when his mind conducted the thought, ‘do it like it’s a banana’. When he had calmed down from his laughing fit he returned his gaze back to Sehun, this time he ran his tongue up to the tip, wrapping his lips around the top and swirling his tongue in a circular motion. Sehun moaned but it was louder this time and Yixing took that as a lead. He began to take all of Sehun into his mouth; making sure to place his hands on the youngers hips in case he bucked up. Yixing groaned around the length when he almost gagged from going too far but apparently Sehun liked the vibrations the groan sent against his dick as Yixing’s name was moaned along with a few curses. So Yixing groaned again and began bobbing his head.

“Yi- Yixing ah..ah.” Sehun had moved his hand to Yixing’s hair, massaging his fingers against his scalp as he hummed contently. “So...ah so good Yixing – fuck.” The younger let out a breathless gasp to which Yixing looked up to his face to see Sehun’s mouth agape and his eyes open, staring down at the older. “Am I... am I still dreaming?”

Yixing squinted his eyes as if considering Sehun’s question before he bobbed his head a few more times, groaning a little in the process, whilst keeping his eyes on Sehun; enjoying his face expression. He then pulled off with one last swirl of his tongue to the tip and crawled up so his face was level with Sehun’s. “What do you think?”

Sehun almost choked at the low slur of Yixing’s words, “I-I’m not so sure anymore.”

Yixing made a questioning sound, “Yeah?” He then grinded his hips against Sehun’s, who let out a shaky groan when their members came into contact with each other, “Still not sure?”

“If I say I’m not sure will you continue to do that because yeah I need more of that. What you just did just then... yeah that.”

Yixing giggled at Sehun’s jumbled up words but acted as if he didn’t know what he meant. Sehun let out an impatient whine, “What you just did – aah.. y-yeah ah that.” Yixing couldn’t tease any longer for he was becoming impatient himself.

It was a strange feeling but at the same time it felt so good. It was the feeling when the younger had touched him but stronger as this time it wasn’t just him getting the pleasure but it was also Sehun. But before Yixing could take it any further Sehun stopped him from moving with his hands placed firmly on his shoulders.

“How are you feeling right now?”

Yixing tried to understand the look of concern on the boys face, “What do you mean?” A few seconds ticked by before it hit him – Oh. And that was all it took for the nightmare images to flash before his eyes; he panicked, you’re being touched, you’re being touched. He got off of Sehun and tried to escape but the younger stopped him with his arms around his waist.

“Yixing,” Sehun had to dodge Yixing’s arms that were flailing everywhere; eventually he was able to grab his wrists and place them against his chest. “Look at me, nobody here is going to hurt you.”

Yixing kept his eyes clenched shut but tried to focus on Sehun’s voice, his smell and what his chest felt like under his palms, “Y-yeah,” The older removed his hands and instead buried his head there, Sehun’s smell becoming more clear to him. “Sehun.”

The younger exhaled and embraced Yixing closer, “That’s right, it’s okay.”

 

Yixing shifted, “I didn’t even think about i-it... it didn’t even come to my mind until you asked how I was feeling.” They were now sitting on the bed, an hour later and fully dressed.

“I’m sorry, I just wanted to be sure you were okay. I haven’t seen you like...” Sehun swallowed the dryness in his throat as he remembered waking up to find Yixing’s mouth around him, “like that before...” Yixing waved off Sehun’s apology, “but isn’t that good? You didn’t think about it.”

“Yeah I... I guess it is.” Yixing shyly placed his hands against his warm cheeks as he thought about what he just did, “I don’t know what came over me.”

A smirk slowly found its way to Sehun’s lips as he playfully hit the older with his pillow, “sexual frustration. Remember?” Yixing spluttered and puffed out his cheeks. He took the pillow from Sehun and hit him back.

\---

Yixing thanked the customer after serving them, handing their coffee order over to Jongin to prepare while he went to make their sandwich.

“So I heard you gave Sehun a blowjob.”

Yixing gasped and ended up squeezing the mayonnaise bottle tightly causing it to spurt out the top. Jongin laughed at this, thinking it fit the conversation perfectly. “W-what?” He cleaned up the mess of the dressing, “How do you know that?”

Jongin cooed, “You did! I actually was just curious.”

Yixing furrowed his eyebrows, “Then I... I didn’t, I was just playing along with you.” The younger scoffed.

“It’s all out now,” Jongin snickered and explained, “I saw Sehun this morning and I started joking to him about his sexual frustration... somehow my conversation went to blowjobs and he turned bright pink I swear – it was so funny,” Jongin had to stop making the coffees because he was doubling over in laughter, “and then I was curious, I had to ask. Oh my god and you did?”

Suddenly Jongin appeared beside Yixing, startling the older once again, he eyed the boy, “You don’t look like the type to do that, I just can’t picture it.”

Yixing sighed, “Would you want to picture it?”

Jongin scrunched up his face, “On second thought, no.” He then returned back to the coffee machine. Yixing sighed again but before he could welcome the silence Jongin made a loud ‘ahh’ sound. “NOW I’M PICTURING IT!”

Yixing bit back a laugh, “How is it?” He asked plainly as if talking about the weather.

“I want to pour this hot coffee into my eye sockets so I don’t have to see it anymore, that’s how it is.” Jongin set the finished coffees on the front counter for serving when he looked up to find Sehun standing behind the counter his eyes widened and he groaned, “oh what perfect timing!” Yixing did laugh this time, warmth spreading through his body when Sehun placed a kiss to the back of his head when he passed him.

Junmyeon chose this moment to walk in from the back, clothes almost covered in flour; he raised his eyebrows, “What is all the commotion out here?”

“Yixing gave Sehun a blowjob,” Jongin said simply while rubbing his eyes. Junmyeon’s eyebrows rose even higher while Sehun and Yixing stared shocked. “Oh,” Jongin covered his mouth and grabbed a nearby loaf of bread, probably ready to protect himself from Sehun, judging by his death stare.

“You little –“ Sehun didn’t finish his sentence, he leapt for Jongin who gripped the bread tighter and dodged the taller; running into the back of the cafe where Sehun followed, all the while Junmyeon yelled after them to stop running around the workplace.

Yixing choosing not to get involved took the customer’s order to their table and apologised for the wait. He then sat down in one of the empty booths and leaned his head back against the chair, watching half lidded at Sehun and Jongin who were still chasing each other. The older sighed, a strange feeling settling in his stomach. He felt somewhat shameful for what he did to Sehun this morning but he couldn’t comprehend the reason why. He was interrupted when the table he was at was being surrounded by Luhan, Yifan, Zitao and Baekhyun; all excited expressions adorning their faces.

“Your letter came!” Yixing froze at Luhan’s words and stared at the envelope being waved in front of his face. “Jongin! Your letter came!” Jongin also froze mid hitting Sehun with the bread.

They all watched intently as Yixing and Jongin held the envelopes in their hands until Zitao groaned out of impatience, “Will you open them already.” Jongin was the first to snap out of his gaze, tearing the slip open like it was a Christmas gift. Yixing lowered his letter and watched Jongin unfold his. There was silence as he read through the letter.

Frowns were beginning to fall upon their faces at the long wait until Jongin’s mouth widened into a huge grin. “I got in... I GOT IN!” The others soon followed, cheering and congratulating Jongin. Yixing let out a sigh of relief and smiled at Jongin’s happiness; the boy definitely deserved it.

“Your turn Yixing hyung!” Yixing’s smile faded at Jongin’s words. His heart beginning to hammer hard in his chest.

“I... uh, think I will wait...” Yixing didn’t want to open it in front of them for if it was bad news their moods would all drop and he didn’t want to ruin Jongin’s happiness. Except they all started to argue his decision.

“Come on hyung, whatever it is we will be by your side.” Yixing looked at their encouraging faces and took in a shaky breath.

“Okay.” He opened the envelope carefully and unfolded it. Everyone watched with confused expressions when Yixing got up from the booth and walked a distance from his friends so they couldn’t peak at the writing.

Yixing’s heart jumped in his chest when he reached the bottom of the letter and he saw the words; you have been accepted into SM Entertainment. Yixing sucked in his bottom lip to try and hold back his grin as he knew his friends were all watching. He slowly walked himself back to the table with his head hung low, he could hear their sorry sighs as he threw the letter on the table; sitting himself back down beside Sehun. Yixing bit his lip harder when Sehun reached for the letter and began to read it himself. His smile broke through however when the younger scoffed loudly.

“How dare you –“ Sehun nudged Yixing’s shoulder with a laugh, “He got in!” He announced to the confused others who then irrupted into cheers. Jongin practically threw himself over the table to hug Yixing. Yixing felt tears well up in his eyes due to the happiness he was feeling.

“THAT MEANS PARTY!”

“NO!” Baekhyun frowned at everyones decline of the word party.

“You can’t not celebrate this! Jongin-ah and Yixing hyung just got accepted into freaking SM Entertainment!” They still weren’t satisfied because Baekhyun’s parties usually got out of hand so he concluded, “Okay okay... then just us. Sleepover party.” He wiggled his eyebrows and grinned when everyone agreed.


	17. Baekhyun's Sleepover: One

Okay... I'm so sorry. life really is- frustrating, with finding a job and health problems. I apologise for the VERY long wait and this very short -possibly uninteresting- chapter. I will split the sleepover into two or three parts.. maybe that way I can update faster. Hopefully but I can't promise. This is only the start of the sleepover, I just needed to post something as it has been.. what 2 months? /squeals/ I'm so sorry.  
Have any suggestions for the sleepover? Please comment so I can make it fun. My brain is not cooperating.  
-this isn't edited, I apologise if there are mistakes-

 

\--  
“Really,” Was the first word out of Yixing’s mouth upon stepping into Baekhyun’s living room. The sofas had been pushed against the walls and stripped of their pillows; the pillows instead were placed in the middle of the room, forming some kind of circle around what seemed to be over more than fifty bottles of alcohol.

Baekhyun stopped mid sentence and turned to Yixing with a raised eyebrow, repeating the word as a question. “Really?” When Yixing made no sign of replying Baekhyun continued with a clear of his throat, “You know that game where you watch something and choose a word or action and take a shot whenever it is shown or said–“

“Great explanation,” Chanyeol interrupted with a chuckle.

Baekhyun glared at the tall boy, throwing his arms exaggeratedly into the air, “you know what I mean though right?” He glanced around at the other boys who only looked at him with amusement or blank faces. A moment of silence passed until Yixing spoke again, “really.”

Baekhyun grabbed a nearby pillow and threw it at Yixing; a frown appearing on his face when Yixing caught it. “Have you never been to a sleepover hyung?”

They turned their attention to Junmyeon who cleared his throat. “Correction; have you ever been to Baekhyun’s sleepovers.” Baekhyun smirked at this and pointed his index finger at Junmyeon. “I don’t know Junmyeonie, you tell us, have you?” The others laughed while Yixing stared; confusion written on his features.

He jumped slightly when a hand rested on his back, only calming when Sehun’s voice was whispered against his ear. “Junmyeon hyung would always get so drunk; he would hardly remember Baekhyun’s sleepovers in the morning.” Yixing responded with an ‘ahh’ sound before Sehun added, “and you should see him drunk. It’s hilarious.”

Junmyeon chose this moment to groan, “Not again I tell you... and uh huh, Yixing-ah can’t have alcohol so you should just erase the idea of this game already.”

Baekhyun clapped his hands and mocked the older, “uh huh! But Yixing isn’t with strangers; he can have a few...” Baekhyun trailed on his words and looked to Yixing, “Only if you want to.”

Luhan worried his bottom lip, “Yeah... it’s your choice Xing.” Yixing thought for a while. Deciding it wouldn’t be so enjoyable to watch his friends get drunk and fool around while he watched on sober. “I guess I can.”

When they all made themselves comfortable on the cushions and decided on the movie, Sehun, who was sitting beside Yixing nuzzled his head against the olders shoulder. “Are you sure you want to drink? You can sit it out... or you could have soda instead or–“

“Sehunnie,” Yixing cooed; leaning his head on Sehun’s, “It’s okay; I feel the need to have some fun.”

Sehun scoffed quietly but didn’t have the time to reply when Jongdae’s loud voice echoed throughout the room, “We are watching Die Hard and the magic word is going to be–“

“Don’t say it.”

“ – fuck.”

Minseok groaned out loud, “I knew you were going to say that! Do you know how many times that word is spoken in that movie?”

Jongdae’s signature smile took over his face while Baekhyun wiggled his eyebrows, “exactly.”

-

The movie was an hour in and the word had already been said more than enough. Luhan, who had started to become a giggling mess sat at the front of the television, rocking sideways; bumping into Kyungsoo every now and then who would push him away with a shove of his shoulder. Jongin would groan every time this would happen as he was slumped against Kyungsoo’s shoulder. Junmyeon and Yifan had stopped paying attention to the movie (only to pay attention when the ‘magic word’ was spoken) and were rather whispering to each other; making hand gestures in front of them. Jongdae, Baekhyun and Chanyeol were also ‘whispering’ to each other. Zitao and Sehun would occasionally laugh at something on their phones and Minseok had his head resting on Yixing’s back; staring blankly at the television.

“How are you feeling?”

Too immersed in the scene on the screen, it took Yixing a few beats to realise Minseok was talking to him. “Mmm.”

Minseok hummed, “Mmm?” Then the view of the television was blocked when Minseok appeared in front of him, immediately turning into a fit of laughter. “Look at you, you’re drunk.” Yixing pouted at the boy while half heartedly trying to see the movie behind him.

“You’re drunk ge.”

“No no no no–“ Yixing narrowed his eyes as his friend repeated the word, eventually crawling over to Luhan in the end. Yixing sighed. He was feeling a little lightheaded; the alcohol making its way into his system. Thoughts came to his mind in which he didn’t want to think about. He needed more alcohol; the more he had, the less he would think. The sound of the others cheers when the word was spoken again was music to Yixing’s ears. Eagerly, he grabbed another shot, sculling it down in one go; grimacing at the slight burn in his throat.

Yixing later excused himself to go to the bathroom but instead took the route to the kitchen. He didn’t need the bathroom; it was just an excuse to find a bottle of alcohol and drink as much as he could without the others noticing.

He rummaged through all the cupboards, sighing to himself when he reached the end of the counter to find a separate room full of various kinds of alcohol. Already having wasted enough time, he grabbed the closest bottle; not caring to pour it into a glass, and began chugging it down. Yixing had to stop soon to let air into his lungs at the intense burning the liquid brought to his throat. He turned the bottle over to read the label and scrunched up his face. Balkan 176. It had to be the strongest vodka there was. He hadn’t the faintest idea why Baekhyun would have such a distasting drink... unless it was his parents; probably.

Yixing stared at the label a while longer before shrugging- it would help faster, so he brought the bottle to his lips again, closing his eyes every time he swallowed the burning taste. It was a few sips later when the sound of someone clearing their throat made him freeze; very slowly, Yixing turned around with the bottle still held to his lips to see Sehun with a blank stare on his face. The latter spoke first.

“I had a hunch you weren’t going to the bathroom.”

Yixing lowered the bottle and smiled sheepishly in which Sehun sighed and walked over to him with a slight wobble; taking the vodka from Yixing’s hold. “I may be slightly drunk but I’m not stupid... see I told you not to drink.”

“I need–“

“Yeah I know, that’s why I said not to.” Sehun’s voice slightly rose towards the end of his sentence making Yixing do a double take. “You promised me you wouldn’t do this but I can’t even keep my eyes off of you for a second–“

“It has been more than a second...”

“What?” Sehun’s eyebrows furrowed.

Yixing pointed in the direction of the living room, suddenly becoming defensive of himself. “They said I could drink!”

“It was your choice,” Sehun corrected. “You know what it does to you–“

“Are you kidding...” Yixing stared dumbfounded at the younger. “Who chose the drinking game... you all said- no... You know what, it doesn’t matter, you were there...”

“We would have changed the game but you said it was fine–“

“It is fine... I’m only having more so I can forget – it’s not like I’m going to go pop some pills afterwards!” Yixing huffed and took the bottle back out of Sehun’s hand and stormed back into the living room.

He slumped back down onto the cushion and squeezed his eyes shut. He knew this whole sleepover was supposed to be a night of fun for Jongin and himself but now all he wanted to do was go home. Yixing watched from the corner of his eyes as Sehun came back; apparently deciding to sit on the other side of the room now. Yixing sunk lower into the cushion and took another swig from the bottle. Was Sehun angry at him now...


	18. Baekhyun's Sleepover: Two

“A club.”

“No,”

“Okay so a bar”

“No,”

“Okay ...a strip club–“

“No!” Jongdae slapped Baekhyun upside the head, “because isn’t that a great idea.” The sarcasm was heavy in his tone.

“Yeah why go to a strip club when I could give you a show here, right now.” Minseok interrupted with a wiggle of his eyebrows which made Luhan gasp. “Hey! Your stripping is only for me now.”

Baekhyun whined, “Let’s see a movie then.”

“We are like... drunk and just finished watching a movie.” Chanyeol threw himself onto a cushion, “Let’s do something at least.”

Yixing curled in on himself on the couch and tried to block out the sound of everyone’s voices. He knew he was the cause of their not being able to go out. It was only proven so when they would keep glancing over at him. Yixing had to be the drunkest out of them all, considering the almost empty bottle of vodka lightly gripped in his hand. He hadn’t planned on the night being like this, he wanted to enjoy himself; a few drinks maybe but alcohol had this effect on him and deep down he knew he shouldn’t have tasted the poison. Yixing glared at the bottle.

Jongin shrugged. “I am fine with staying here-“

“But a club sounds so tempting, the night is young and I am young!” Junmyeon cut in, dancing his way into the living room making the others stare in amusement.

“A perfect opportunity to take embarrassing photos of Junmyeon too.” Jongdae sing-songed while he clinged to Minseok’s side.

“Yeah but...”

Yixing knew their eyes were on him again and he let out a small sigh, “will you just go and enjoy yourselves... stop worrying about me please.” There was whispering then and Yixing couldn’t make out what they were saying from where he was seated. Yixing tossed his head side to side before turning the bottle upside down and pouring the last of its contents into his mouth before Luhan came to kneel in front of him.

“So we’re going out now,” Luhan took the empty bottle out of Yixing’s hand in case he was to drop it and placed it on the side table. “You okay here?” Yixing looked up at his friend with hooded eyes, noticing a strange look on Luhan’s face but that could be the alcohol playing tricks on him.

“I don’t care...”

Luhan smiled sadly and stood, “Sorry you can’t come... maybe next time.” He ruffled Yixing’s hair. Shuffling was heard next as they all put on their shoes and jackets, making their leave for the door; Yixing receiving pats on his shoulder as they passed him. “We will see you soon.” Then the door was shut and Yixing was left with silence, a small pout appearing on his lips. Did they really just leave me...

Yixing pulls himself up with a bit of difficulty and leans his head on the back of the chair, closing his eyes. It was what you wanted though... but why do I feel disappointed-. His thoughts are cut off however when he feels hands snaking down his chest causing him to instinctively jump out of the touch and turn around. “Wha-- Sehun?” Yixing holds his head as the room begins to spin, “What are you-“

“Sit down hyung,” Sehun rounds the couch and comes to his side, placing a helping hand on Yixing’s shoulder as he sits down. “You really drank the whole bottle...” Sehun holds the empty vodka in his hands, shaking his head. “Xing. You must feel horrible.”

“I’m used to it.”

Sehun puts the bottle down and eyes the older, “You know I hate when you say those words.” Yixing shrugged and brought his knees up; curling in on himself again.

“I want to go home- I mean... I want to go just...” Yixing put his head down, turning his eyes away from Sehun’s as he felt his body begin to shake with quiet sobs. Not long after he felt Sehun’s presence beside him and his fingers soon threading through his hair.

“Yixing-“

“Aren’t you a-angry at me... why are you back, why did everyone leave me.. do you all hate me, of course you hate me... I ruined everybody’s night”

Sehun frowned, taking a while to progress Yixing’s quickly spoken slurred words before standing up and patting the boys knee, “hey hey hey,” the younger repeated the words until Yixing looked up at him with teary eyes. The younger leaned in to wipe the tears gently with his thumb. “Piggyback ride?” Yixing stared as Sehun turned his back to him, his arms stretched out in an invitation to climb onto his back. The older sniffed and wiped his nose with the back of his hand, standing with wobbly legs and jumped onto Sehun’s back, or more like slumped. “Going to sober you up first,” Sehun groaned and shifted Yixing, “You could help me out a little.”

Yixing shook his head slowly but did wrap his arms around Sehun’s neck for some support, “this is payback... for the time I had to–“ The olders word broke off into a yawn causing Sehun to smile, “– piggyback ride you, and you fell asleep.”

“You remember that?”

Yixing hummed and rested his head on Sehun’s shoulder, “It was our first date, of course I would remember.”

Sehun broke out into a grin then. He also remembers that night; he had sat on his bed all afternoon with his phone in his hand, contemplating whether or not to call Yixing until Chanyeol stormed into his bedroom telling him that he was acting like a teenager with a big crush. It hadn’t been a lie though, he was only nineteen and he did have the biggest crush on the older... but they had never mentioned it being a date, the idea that Yixing had made his heart swell.

“You won me a bunny plushie,” Yixing now giggled, the beautiful sound so close to the youngers ears. Sehun was glad he wasn’t upset anymore.

“I did, and you drank half of my bubble tea,” Sehun tried to sound offended but he couldn’t, not with how Yixing was smiling against his skin; the boys face buried in his neck. It all made it hard to put Yixing down but he had to, if he wanted to sober him. Yixing obliged as he let go of Sehun’s neck to be seated on the kitchen bench, Sehun warning him not to tumble over so Yixing stared hard at his lap, silently willing his body not to sway while he waited for whatever Sehun was doing.

“Here you go,” Sehun lifted himself onto the counter beside the older and took two cups into his hand, passing one to Yixing, “green tea – careful it’s hot.” Sehun laughed at the blank stare Yixing gave him while he rolled his sleeves over his hands and took the beverage; mumbling a quiet thank you as he blew on the drink and took a sip, closing his eyes as he savoured the taste.

They sat in silence while sipping on their tea until Sehun remembered what Yixing had said earlier. “I’m not angry at you... just frustrated with you but it’s because I care about you so- so you should feel special.” Yixing kept the mug to his lips as he listened. “And we don’t hate you but you know you can’t go out like this... a club of all things. That’s where they have gone, we worked it out, I said I would stay here. They weren’t going to go for you but I know you will blame yourself so I made them.”

“Don’t you want to go?”

“No, I rather be here with you.” Sehun bumped his shoulder against the olders a few times, eventually making Yixing loose his balance that Sehun had to catch him, luckily saving the tea too. “Keep drinking, you’re still far too drunk.”

“Of course I am, I only just started drinking the tea.”

Sehun made an ‘aah’ noise, “You are so sassy lately, what is this.”

“Sassy... really?”

“You must be a sassy drunk–“

“It’s called sarcasm Sehun... you mustn’t know me well.”

Sehun jumped off of the counter and stood between Yixing’s legs, taking the mug out of his hold. “I thought you told me to keep drinking?” The younger held back a laugh, instead opting to scrunch his face. “You’re still doing it!”

Yixing ruffled his own hair, “Sorry...”

Sehun shook his head and took Yixing’s hand in his, “I do know you well... I know that you think about others before yourself, I know that you torture yourself for getting the smallest things wrong but you praise others for when they achieve something little. I know that you dislike yourself, you think you’re weak, pathetic... you think you mean nothing... you have been through a lot Yixing but you have survived it all,” Sehun wiped the tears that began to slowly fall from Yixing’s eyes again and continued, his voice softening, “you are not weak, you are not pathetic and you are not nothing. You are strong, persistent, kind, loving.. god... you mean so much to me... to us. You kept going,” He pulled up the sleeve of the olders pullover and ran his fingers over the scars there, “these don’t make you weak –“

Yixing pulled his arm out of Sehun’s hold, “Then explain the drugs, the alcohol, the many times I have tried to kill myself,” Yixing let out a small sob, “Explain that...”

The younger sucked in his bottom lip, “In a way they were all methods of survival,” Yixing threw his head back and scoffed, “no – they were... you did this stuff to forget, I mean even suicide is a way to forget...”

“You are not making sense.”

Sehun sighed, “Just hear me out... Xing.” He pulled Yixing closer with his hands behind the olders back. “I do know you... more than may know. I know what makes you blush, what makes you smile... what makes you frown-“

“Sehun.“

“-And what makes you happy, angry, sad,“

Yixing whined, “Sehun, you are being so cheesy.”

A slow smile appeared on Sehun’s face, “I know you secretly like my cheesiness too.” Yixing bit his bottom lip, a smile threatening to form. “No no, let it come, smile baby.” The older tried his hardest to keep a straight face but eventually he couldn’t and Sehun smiled wide, perfect.

When Yixing was sobered up, Sehun attempted to make Ramyeon with the much needed help of the other. Then they seated themselves in front of the television. Sehun choose the third floor room which was basically a home cinema. The living area was adorned with comfortable fold out chairs in front of a wall which was completely made up of a screen. Twenty minutes had almost passed now and they were still arguing about which film to choose.

“I really don’t mind what the movie is.” Yixing sipped the last of his soup from his bowl and made a point to it, showing he had already finished eating. The younger doing the same, making them both laugh. Yixing put the bowl on the floor beside the chair and hummed quietly, “Why don’t we just get really high.” Sehun scoffed, idle clicking still audible as he searched through movies on the television. Smoking weed was the only thing Yixing was allowed to still do, his friends still didn’t like it but it was the better option than the pills. “Well you don’t have to.” Yixing reached into his pocket and pulled out an already thickly rolled joint making Sehun give him a double take.

“You carry that around? Wait, how big is that!” It wasn’t a question; it was more like a statement.

“When I said really high I mean really high...” The older turned the joint around in his fingers, “this is some of the really strong stuff, the guy called it ‘the bomb’.”

The younger burst out laughing, his tone thick with sarcasm, “Whoa, that is so creative. I bet he was high on the stuff when he named it!” Yixing soon joined the laughter, “probably”. Sehun stopped clicking the remote control and took the joint from Yixing’s hand. “Okay, let’s do it then,” a mischievous smile appeared on the boy’s face, “while we watch this movie.” Yixing turned his head to the screen to see that the pointer was hovered over a horror movie.

 

\---  
A/N - So this has kind of turned into Yixing and Sehun's sleepover right? Of course there will have to be another part of them getting high and freaking out over the horror movie. I really just wish myself good luck in writing that hahaha... this writers block is killing me.  
\- Thank you for giving kudos and commenting, always appreciated ♥ -


	19. Baekhyun's Sleepover: Three

Baekhyun stood frozen in the doorway and although intoxicated with alcohol his blurry vision was still able to make out the sight in front of him. Minseok had stumbled beside him now and furrowed his eyebrows, a confused expression adorning his features. The house seemed as if it had had a tornado torn through it.

“Did we... leave the house like this?”

Baekhyun shook his head slowly and stepped into the house, almost tripping over the pile of books strewn across the floor. He cursed under his breath. His parents would definitely kill him for this. “Oh Sehun! Zhang Yixing!”

The boy stumbled clumsily through the house looking for the two questioned while Minseok and Luhan followed close behind with faces that grew worried with every empty room they passed. The spare bedroom is what had them stop. The room, which was littered with empty bottles of alcohol and stunk of toxic fumes had a dishevelled Sehun slumped against the bed. It was still uncertain if the young boy was conscious or not but it didn’t stop Baekhyun from storming into the room and grabbing Sehun by the front of his shirt.

“What the hell happened here!?” When all that he received was a groan, Baekhyun shook the younger. “Yah, you better have a good explanation for trashing my house!”

“Yixing.. where is he?” Luhan had mumbled over Baek’s shouting but his words weren’t unheard. Apparently this is what had Sehun shoot up and lean heavily on Baekhyun; much to his displeasure.

“Yixing.. he.. I.. I-“

“You what?”

Sehun exhaled long and shaky before speaking in an almost whisper, “I fucked up.”

That is all what was needed for Luhan to clench his hands into fists, his tone now spoken firmly, with a hint of anger, a clear warning that he would crack anytime now. “What. Did. You. Do?”

Minseok ran his fingers through his hair as he scanned the room. The bed sheets were thrown askew, the remains of what looked to be a burnt out joint was still smoking on the bedside table and the floor was mostly covered in broken glass or empty bottles of alcohol... and wait was that blood stains on the bed.

Minseok ‘s stomach did an unpleasant somersault as he turned back on the scene in front of him which seemed to have turned into a stare off between Sehun and Luhan. “Is Yixing still here?”

Sehun shook his head, breaking the eye contact with the other, grimacing as he did so. “He left.”

“You let him leave!? Please don’t tell me he is off his head just as you are.”

Sehun’s glare was back on Luhan and he forced a bitter smile before slumping back down on the floor. “Oh he wouldn’t have let me follow him.”

Minseok left the room then in a hurry as he patted down his pockets in search for his mobile, groaning as his phone seemed to not be on him. Fortunately he bumped into a clueless Yifan on the staircase. “Phone?” Yifan didn’t have to be told twice as he reached it out of his jeans pockets and placed it into Minseok’s open palm. He ignored everyone’s questioning as he held the mobile to his ear after dialling the number he knew all too well. The ringing was way too long for his liking but eventually Yixing’s voice was heard over the speaker, “Hello-“

“Yixing!”

“--I’m sorry I can’t take your call right now, if you would—“

“Shit”. The call when to voicemail. Minseok tightened his hold on the phone.  
\--  
– 1 hour earlier –

The movie was long forgotten before it had even started and the two had ended up in the spare bedroom. Drinking hadn’t been on the agenda but had there been an agenda in the first place. Of course not. Yixing didn’t know how many shots they had both consumed but judging by his blurred vision it had been more than a few. To his surprise; Sehun was the one downing them as if the liquid were water.

“Why, why-“ Yixing heavily lifted his head at Sehun’s whining voice, “why won’t this stuff work.” His words hadn’t been directed at him; Sehun had been throwing an argument at the blunt between his fingers for some time now.

Yixing shook his head, it was true. Thirty minutes had already passed but there had been still no effect from this so called ‘bomb’. He was starting to think that he had been ripped of his money. With a long sigh the older stood up, bringing a pile of glasses crashing to the floor with him. Yixing frowned at the shattered glass beside his feet and kneeled down to pick them up. The other frantically called out, “Don’t touch it!” but it was too late as Yixing lifted his hand to see bits of shattered glass lodged into his skin.

Sehun clicked his tongue and pulled Yixing down onto the bed with a tug to his wrist, “you’re a stupid drunk.”

“Thanks” Yixing furrowed his eyebrows, “but I’m hardly drunk.”

“Xing-“ Sehun blinked at the boy’s hand, trying to make out the little pieces of glass but it was useless when he could see more than one hand in front of his face “hmm” Sehun hummed and lifted his head to look at the other, a sly smile tugging on his lips, “you’re pretty.” Yixing pouted, and somehow managed to only furrow his eyebrows more.

“I’m not pretty.”

Sehun giggled, actually giggled. Yixing had to do a double take to see if he was imagining it or not but Sehun beat him to it when he felt fingers under his chin, causing him to lift his head and lock eyes with the glistening eyes of the other. “You must get told that a lot..”

Yixing huffed “Told what?” For some reason he couldn’t draw his eyes away from Sehun’s. And were they getting closer?

Sehun’s hand moved to his left cheek, his fingers slowly stroking down the soft skin, “that you’re pretty.” Yes, the younger was definitely getting closer. The thick scent of alcohol evident as his breath ghosted against Yixing’s lips.

Yixing blinked, “n-no” his breath hitched as Sehun’s thumb had found its way to his bottom lip.

“So pretty...” The others eyes were now staring at the others mouth. His thumb gently tugging on the boys plump lip.

“Sehun..” Said boy cut off Yixing’s words by pressing his lips to his. It was slightly messy and a little uncoordinated but Yixing easily melted into the kiss. He couldn’t remember the last time they had kissed. Had it been that long ago? He briefly wondered why but his thoughts were lost the moment he felt Sehun’s tongue slide against his bottom lip, silently asking permission to enter his mouth. Yixing almost immediately complied; slowly parting his lips for their tongues to meet each other halfway.

Minutes passed by as the two lay there on the bed, Yixing’s injured hand forgotten as their lips meld together in a deep kiss, only ever parting to take a quick breath before interlocking again. Everything was fine too until Sehun’s sneaky hand had found its way underneath Yixing’s shirt. “Sehun, what are you doing..” An unpleasant shiver ran up his spine. He tried to push the boy who suddenly felt way too heavy off of him but to no avail. “Sehun” his voice came out in a whimper as he felt the large hand travel lower which made Yixing’s heart beat quicken.

Yixing squeezed his eyes closed and inhaled and exhaled long breaths. It’s Sehun. It’s only Sehun. He swallowed thickly and opened his eyes to find the younger hovering over him, his torso bare. Yixing had to swallow again. Sehun was fast.

“You have no idea..” Sehun pulled away and undid his pants, swiftly stepping out of them “..of how long I’ve been wanting to do this.” And then he was removing his boxers. Forget trying to breathe. Yixing choked on air.  
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Hello.. I'm sorry for having forgotten to upload this here. I have been struggling.. I’m at a loss for words.. there will be a part 4.. I don’t know when.. but I promise there will eventually be. ;; Thank you to those who still read and who wait for updates ♥ it means a lot to me. As always, thank you for kudos and commenting; and please do comment, it is always motivation for me c:


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